Asinine Predictions By An Anonymous Idiot, Lovingly Written By John Dillman

 

 

 

Come one, come all! Gather round. Here is the greatest week 3 predictions ever amassed, brought to you by an anonymous source. (Psst…. The anonymous source is me. I am a bit deranged with the lack of jet sweeps and bubble screens.)

 

Chiefs at Chargers

Prediction 1: The Kansas City Chiefs will rush for over 200 yards against the Los Diego (See what I did there?) Chargers.

Prediction B: Chargers stadium in Los Angeles will have at least 1 bathroom closed due to what can only be described as “An Incident” involving a drunk guest, 3 beers, 2 overpriced stadium hot dogs, and a significant amount of toilet paper.

Prediction III: The final score of the Chiefs Chargers game will be decided by less than 6 points.

Prediction B2: Chiefs win. Bank on it baby

Prediction B3: Phillip Rivers will be so distraught over dropped pass in the third quarter that he calls his tight end Antonio Gates a “silly nanny”.

 

Broncos at Bills

Prediction I: Trevor Siemian will throw 3 touchdown passes by the third quarter.

Prediction X2: Bills receiver Jordan Matthews will have an eye patch by the end of the day. (Aqib Talib is supposed to be covering him. It’s not as funny since I had to explain it. You messed up my incoherent ramblings! Damn kids! Get off my lawn!!!)

Prediction Y: Denver cornerback Chris Harris will have one pick six by the time the fat lady sings.

Prediction 4: Unfortunately Denver will win. This really isn’t a prediction as much as it is a certainty. DAMN YOU DENVER, DAMN YOU!!!!

Prediction V:Denver head coach Vance Joseph will enjoy a post game steak and be saddened by the fact that the restaurant ran out of A1.

 

Raiders at Redskins

Prediction 1: Raiders quarterback Derek Carr will finally get the joke from last year that the Raiders Carr broke down.

Prediction II: Kirk Cousins will throw for more passing yards and touchdowns than Derek Carr but will still lose the game by two scores.

Prediction Three: Khalil Mack will flat out destroy Cousins sacking him at least 3 times.

Prediction IV: There will be a minimum of 6 Raiders fans in attendance that will be asked to leave due to “Inappropriate Behavior With Food Stuffs”.

Prediction 5: Redskins fans will be questioning whether or not Marshawn Lynch is human after his 3rd rushing touchdown on the day.

 

Bengals at Packers

Prediction One: Green Bay is going to win. Its not going to be close. I tried thinking of a joke for this but all I felt was sorrow and hurt for Bengals fans everywhere.

Prediction 2: Aaron Rodgers will contemplate removing the first A from his name to make it easier for stupid fan writers to remember how to spell his name. I mean really? Why does he need two A’s? At least he doesn’t spell it Ayren. Thank God for small miracles I guess.

Prediction III: Cincinnati will score their first touchdown of the season in garbage time on Sunday.

Prediction 4: Bengals pass rusher Nick Perry will be the only team member to get a sack on the day. (BTW he is out with an injury. His sack will come from Wal-Mart and contain many good things such as Oreo’s, Lay’s sour cream and chive potato chips, and some sweet sweet Mr. Pibb.)

Prediction Five: Explosive flatulence will ruin the Lambeau leap for one very surprised and slightly disgusted Packers receiver.

 

Seahawks at Titans

Prediction A: Marcus Mariota will mount a game winning drive with 1 minute left on the clock ending in a 20+ yard touchdown pass from Ryan Succop. (Fake field goals are fun!)

Prediction 2: Russell Wilson will lead the Seahawks in rushing yards and rushing touchdowns.

Prediction C: Tennessee will go into the half down 3 scores.

Prediction D: The Seahawks defense will be required to relinquish the moniker “The Legion of Boom” after allowing over 21 points in the third quarter. They shall now be referred to as…. the Seattle defense. I couldn’t think of anything. I’m grasping at straws here. Get off my case! Get off my lawn!

 

Giants at Eagles

Prediction 1: The Eagles will get their mojo back at home convincingly defeating the Giants in a not at all close game.

Prediction 2: Giants receiver OBJ will throw a hissy fit on the sideline and wind up kicking the bench, hurting his little toe, causing him to be sent to the medical tent for the rest of the game.

Prediction 2B: Giants receiver OBJ will come back after hurting his itty bitty toe and catch two touchdown passes in the 4th quarter. Both one handed, behind the back. Suck on that Eagles fans.

Prediction 3: Eli Manning will look lost and confused for much of the game. Not really much of a prediction but I figured it would count.

Prediction 4: Philly will start fire-selling all salted pretzels at less than half price beginning after the 3rd quarter. The price of cheese will skyrocket ruining the economy of the stadium and will kick off a two week long recession and a horrible cheese drought. Many people and their pretzels will be left dry and bland. May God have mercy on their souls.

 

Dolphins at Jets

Prediction A: Dolphins fans will become so sick of Jay Cutler after the first quarter that they will take up a collection at half time to pay Dan Marino to come out of retirement and finish the season for them.

Prediction B: Jets running back Jay Ajayi will be the lone bright spot for an otherwise inept offense.

Prediction C: New York will have 3 different quarterbacks play come Sunday.

Prediction D: This entire game will be a mess of the finest proportions. You should watch this debacle. It will be epic.

Prediction E: The Dolphins will have more fans than the Jets in the stadium. Once again I must mention, this will be a s***show.

 

Texans at Patriots

Prediction 1: Jadeveon Clowney will have a tea party will Whitney Mercilus in the Patriot pocket. During this tea party someone will eventually spill the kettle and Mercilus will take his ball and go home.

Prediction 2: Despite being sacked multiple times, I must repeat MULTIPLE times, Tom Brady will somehow manage to top 400 yards passing on the day and go on to win the day with a 40 yard bomb down the right sideline.

Prediction C: Patriots personnel looking surprisingly like Dick Dastardly and Mutley will be seen leaving the Texans locker room shortly before the start of the game. A wheezing laugh was heard on their way through the door.

Prediction D: Deshaun Watson will have a field day on the slant route against the Pats D. A minimum of 3 bubbly screens will be called for a collective gain of 1/2 yard.

 

Ravens at Jaguars

Do I even need to do this one? Ravens win. Move along people, nothing to see here.

 

Saints at Panthers

Prediction A: Carolina quarterback Cam Newton will hand off the ball to running back Christian McCaffrey on the first play of the game and leave for the next two quarters. No one will notice he is gone.

Prediction B: the Panthers are gonna spank the Saints. Spank that butt good and hard.

Prediction C: Drew Brees will manage to throw for over 300 yards but not throw a single touchdown pass.

Prediction 4: McCaffrey will amass over 200 yards rushing in the slaughter of the team that was once called the Saints.

 

Steelers at Bears

Prediction 1: Mike Glennon will be benched before the end of the first quarter and Mitch Trubisky will go on to tear apart the rusty iron curtain defense.

Prediction two: Ben Roethlisberger won’t know what hit him when the bears defense shreds his offensive line to the tune of 5 sacks and two forced fumbles.

Prediction III: Troy Polamalu will offer the entire Steelers defense a lifetime supply of Head and Shoulders shampoo for 5 minutes of playing time in the 4th quarter.

Prediction IV: Head and Shoulders will vehemently deny any attempted claims by Pittsburgh defensive players attempting to claim their lifetime supply of shampoo.

 

Falcons at Lions

Prediction one: The Detroit Lions will make this game an interesting one by starting Tim Allen at tight end. Richard Karn denied to comment regarding allegations that he was asked to play safety for the game.

Prediction two: Matt Ryan connects with Detroit defenders on 3 passes in 3 quarters.

Prediction 3: Julio Jones will find paydirt 3 times in the Falcons loss to the ferocious Lions. Roar.

Prediction 3B: The Detroit offense led by Matthew Stafford will have over 500 yards from scrimmage by the time the last whistle is blown.

 

Browns at Colts

No one is going to watch this game, not even Andrew Luck. So I’m not going to waste my time. BOO Browns, BOO Colts. Sadness ensues. Did everyone bring their paper bags?

 

Buccaneers at Vikings

Prediction one: The Vikings quarterback Sam Bradford will get a glass bone transplant, thus strengthening his bone structure ten fold.

Prediction 2: The Bucs are going to win. This pained me to say. So much pain. Curse you Tampa Bay! CURSE YOU!

Prediction Three: I lost my train of thought and forgot what I wanted to say. Rest assured it was witty and hilarious. Begin laughing now.

Prediction $: I just remembered what I wanted to say. Buccaneers bad. Very much bad indeed. That is all.

Boo Buccaneers.

 

Cowboys at Cardinals

Prediction 1: Carson Palmer will get his AARP card express delivered during half time and will offer any fans nearby one Werther’s Original candy. Only one. You’ll spoil your appetite.

Prediction 2: Ezekiel Elliott will pick up where he left off last week and rush for over 15 yards on 20 carries.

Prediction 3: The Cardinals defense will shut down the Cowboys offense at home in a convincing fashion.

Prediction 4: Palmer will take all of his team mates to the Country Kitchen Restaurant following the win for apple pie and a rich history lesson of what life was like when he was young.

 

Well there we have it guys, I told you I think I’ve lost my mind but this was actually a lot of fun to write up! My slow descent into madness was accelerated when Reid failed to call 4 bubble screens in a row. I hope you enjoyed the show. Comment below and as always VIVA LA JET SWEEP and GO CHIEFS!

 

 

 

 

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  • Laurels and limitations

    Fun, fun read man. but I have to admit that I enjoy werther’s originals myself, lol.

    • ladner morse

      HEY!… me too I must confess!

    • Heilios

      Werthers originals are actually pretty darn tasty. What is the old hard candy that was mainly white with different colors and shapes. Some of them had the shape of captain crunch. Oh they were awful.

  • berttheclock

    That “drunk guest” at StubHub might be a Chiefs’ fan. There will be a ton of folks wearing Red and Gold at the very intimate so-called stadium. The Chargers are not drawing many fans wearing Chargers’ colors so far this year. Their one marketing tool has been to tell fans it is easier and faster to get in and out from the nearest Harbor Freeway than it is to visit the LA Coliseum for Rams’ fans. But, not many are buying into that so far.

    Not very surprising that TV ratings for Charger games in the San Diego area have dropped off the cliff. Local businesses are running promos for freebies should the Chargers lose.

    • ladner morse

      You mean like… one free Michael Jackson glove if the Chargers fumble?

    • Heilios

      They are having such bad attendance I read that the owner is already considering a move back to San Diego

      • ladner morse

        How about the “Tijuana Chargers?” They could get the Mexican support as well.

        • Heilios

          I bet the NFL has considered it at least once. They are trying for expansion to London still right?

          • ladner morse

            Mexico City is likely to happen before London.. although London is a Goodell favorite.

  • berttheclock

    I still have my fingers crossed that KOIN TV in Portland will switch to the Chiefs-Chargers game tomorrow. So far, they list the game between the 1-1 Packers and the 0-2 Bengals. Usually, the powers to be at that station are Broncos’ fans and never like to put up any Chiefs’ games unless the network tells them to do so.

    Therefore, I will trek over to Portland to see the game at Dee’s Bar at 67th and Sandy. Great place for fans of the Chiefs to meet and greet. Hey, Ron, if you happen to drop by to read this thread, I hope you will be there. Ron is a very loyal fan who grew up in Garnett, KS and graduated from K-State. When his lovely wife allows him to indulge in his Chiefs’ habit, he attends games at Dee’s. Which helps the ale sales by the great owner, Dennis.

    • ladner morse

      How are you at changing your voice a few time… call into the TV station requesting the Chiefs about ten times, that aught to do it.

  • berttheclock

    Hey, John, please please please do not mess with the biblical spelling of the name Aaron. Why? Because, I happened to be named after two uncles and one of them had that name. It became my middle name and my father, whose side the name came from insisted I be called by that name instead of the first name which came from my mother’s side. All through grade, junior high and senior high, I had to suffer the consequences of peers not being able to spell the name properly. They threw all sort of various spellings at it, but, never could figure out the biblical spelling. So, I had to read such as Aron, Eron, Erin, Errin a great deal. However, when, some one wrote a comment in my senior year book beginning with the word Errand, I made a vow to never ever use that name again. So, when, I enrolled at KU, I never put down my middle game again. It took a long time for old friends to get used to the new name, but, the middle name for myself became only the first letter A afterwards.

    • ladner morse

      … and my first wife and I decided to name our daughter by the same “sounding” name … Erin… but I can understand John’s point of view… isn’t it a bit selfish to take two letters at the beginning of your name?

      • berttheclock

        Perhaps, but, one problem with my first name is one can add an a to the end of it and change it in a heartbeat. Now, I don’t mind if they add the letters “ie” to it and I have even done that on occasion on greeting cards for Pat.

        • ladner morse

          You shuold try dealing with the misspellings of “Ladner” your whole life…. just yesterday it was LANDER, for the millionith time!

    • Heilios

      I won’t mess with it Bert. That whole train of though came from me trying to remember how to spell his name and I finally ended up Googling it. Lol

    • freshmeat62

      Don’t know if you’ve ever said, but I’m curious as to the origin of ‘berttheclock’. The stories behind these nom de plume are interesting.

      • berttheclock

        Years ago, when, I was in a funk over some major developments in my life, a fellow became a very good friend to me. He was an usher at both Hollywood Park and Santa Anita. He worked in the box section. I lived nearby him and would meet up at a local bar and go the races with him. He allowed me to sit in his box seats. Now, all of the box seat ushers used to send down for tout picks prior to the races each day. They would peruse them and pick numbers so whenever a customer would ask “Who do you like?” they could give them a pick. However, my buddy, Al Waterhouse, did a one up on all of them. He would use the same picks, but, he would tell customers that he had a special in with a top clocker at the track who went by the name Bert. So, after a race was won by a horse he had given to a customer, he would go into his act and start telling one and all, “Bert had it, Bert is the greatest at the track. No one knows more than Berttheclock.”.

        Sadly, Al passed away a few years back and I decided to pay him homage by using that same moniker. Funny thing is I was once asked to become a clocker at the track for Baedecker, one of the top tout sheets at the track. One of my buddies was a clocker for them. Never did, but, I respect the work of all clockers.

        • berttheclock

          In my many years of hanging the So Cal circuit, I never really liked being with the swells. I preferred the Damon Runyon dese, dose and dem types far better. In many respects, I found them to be a better class to hang with. By doing such, I was able to be able to converse (only about horses) with Jerry Buss who owned the Lakers at the time. He hated having to wear a tie, so, he would not go to the Del Mar Turf Club. He preferred sitting in the infield working on his Daily Racing Form. You could talk with him if you just talked horses. One time, a suited up Mike Garrett walked up to him to discuss something about the USC program. I heard him tell Garrett that he was busy and would meet him later. “Just horses” was his mantra at the track.

  • ladner morse

    Brilliant piece John! Loved reading it!

  • berttheclock

    I still find it interesting that so many colleges in this nation play the game of American football. All use offensive lines, of course. However, one problem appears to be that many of them only want to use the spread formation. NFL O-line coaches say they believe that stunts the transition of moving from college ball to the NFL. However, consider the fact that currently, many NFL teams are having major problems with their offensive lines. Seattle is still a work in progress trying to find even 5 guys who can both run and pass block and stay healthy. Cincy has become a mess due to their terrible O-line. Even the Eagles who thought their O-line looked promising heading into the season found one of the OGs to be very deficient trying to stop the pressure from the Chiefs’ d-line. In fact, they have just made a change and are moving a new fellow into his position for their next game. The Chargers O-line is the one area of weakness on their team.

    • ladner morse

      In fact, the O-line problem is so rampant that it has lowered the value we place on good offensive linemen and consequently the Chiefs line currently looks like a top ten 5 NFL line… when just last year they were in the teens. Also, the college problem is so constricting to young OL that defensive linemen are developing at a much faster rate and in the long run this epidemic is placing the passing-league (which the NFL has become) in jeopardy. Fans are looking for enough other outlets for their entertainment value that an unbalanced competition along the lines up front is becoming… well… Un-becoming.

      • Laurels and limitations

        “You’re playing a contact position with pads, and you’re practicing it without pads the majority of the time,” Belichick said (via Mike Petraglia of CLNSMedia). “That usually develops a lot of bad habits, and a lot of the techniques that a player would have the chance to work on and improve with pads, that opportunity just isn’t there without pads.”

        • berttheclock

          Plus, no more two a days in training camp.

          • berttheclock

            Belichick is not too pleased with the new CFL deal to eliminate pad practices in the CFL.

      • berttheclock

        One thing I never understood about Scott Pioli is, although, he had played on the offensive line in college, he never seemed to really appreciate the fact you needed quality on the Chiefs’ O-line. Remember, one of his first moves was to bring in two guys from Miami who never really fit well on the unit. Then, he opted to take Donald S from Oklahoma, whose own college coaches said he was a project.

        Pioli appeared to take the attitude of “Hey, even I could learn to play on a college O-line, so…………..” as in believing moving new players into the O-line was just some sort of plug and play type thing.

        • ladner morse

          Donald Stephenson v Barry Richardson v Mike McGlynn?

          Sorry but McGlynn is the sorriest…. making both Richardson and Stephenson look “better?”

          • berttheclock

            Ah yes, Barry “Manilow” Richardson.

          • ladner morse

            … and Mike “Ole” McGlynn…

            Then again… “The Tin-Man”… as Patrick Allen used to call him was the worst pick of all. Even though Tyson Jackson played in the Super Bowl this past Feb he was cut shortly there after.

          • berttheclock

            I called him the Maitre D’ of the offensive unit who so graciously showed opponents the proper sitting area immediately atop the KC QB.

          • berttheclock

            However, even as bad were two plays against a rookie NT of the Chargers. McGlynn stepped up and allowed the NT to step over his back leg and hit Charles in the backfield. The NT made two such stops and each were about 3 yards behind the LOS.

          • ladner morse

            Speaking of NTs… did you happen to see the tape of Bennie Logan standing next to Justin Houson in hte post game locker room as ANdy entered and yelled… “How Bout Those CHIEFS?”… because Logan did not participate in the gala of yelling going on.

            Very interesting… Maybe he just hasn’t oriented himself to that tradition yet??? IDK.

          • Heilios

            Get with the program man!

          • berttheclock

            There was one other OT whose skills diminished while playing for KC. Can’t recall his name, but, he was from K-State. Finally, cut by the Chiefs and the then hapless Seahawks of 2010 had to try to use him in Seattle. They had just drafted Okung and were beginning to upgrade their terrible O-line. Okung had a high ankle sprain, so, they took a flyer on the dismissed KC player. I don’t remember if he even lasted the season with them.

          • ladner morse

            Mike Goff? Pierre Walters?

          • ladner morse

            Ryan O’Callahan?

          • ladner morse

            Wow… just saying all those names again makes me realize just how far the Chiefs OL depth has come in the last 7 years.

          • ladner morse

            Rudy Niswanger?

          • berttheclock

            Damien “Sackintosh”, McIntosh. Please read above as I just posted it.

          • Heilios

            I thought it was Barry “The Matador” Richardson? Olé!

          • berttheclock

            Strange thing concerning McGlynn. The year Andy Reid drafted him in the 4th round, there was a far better OT from Pittsburgh who was a 1st rounder. In fact a move up trade was made to take him and he appeared to be a can’t miss type. Ended up getting injured and never played. Meanwhile, with an injury to the center of the Eagles, Reid had to put McGlynn into playing center for him that first year. That worked somewhat well and that is the reason, he later talked Dorsey into bringing him to KC as he thought he still had some skills.

          • ladner morse

            Still hard to believe that the same coach (Reid) who brought McGlynn to KC… is the same man who developed LDT.

            You have to give it to McGlynn… I’ve never seen an offensive lineman who had the “Step Aside” move down so completely.

          • ladner morse

            Who is the poster who is related to Stephenson?

          • Stephenson had 1 season looking to develop. DS was solid at Sw/T. They paid him money, He went to Bentley. It didn’t take. Why? Well I think it all revolved around, by his own comment: Getting the Loot Baby. I was pleased when he departed. He should have developed into a quality OT. He didn’t.

  • berttheclock

    Laddie, that former K-State OT I mentioned below playing for both the Chiefs and Seahawks was Damien McIntosh (er, sacktintosh). But, he went to Seattle in 2009, not 2010. That 2009 O-line of the Seahawks was a total mess.

    • ladner morse

      Wow… as I mentioned below… seeing all those OL names from 8 years ago makes me realize just how far the OL line… and the OL line depth… has come.

      • berttheclock

        I mentioned how poor the 2009 Seahawks O-line was. However, consider this. I was living in Seattle when they began to build a great O-line a few years earlier. Their foundation was set by drafting Walter Jones, then, the great OG, Steve Hutchinson was drafted the next year.. With those two the left side of the O-line held for Hassleback and they were set for several years. Then, for whatever reason, they foolishly allowed their All Pro OG depart and the O-line begin to fall to the point by 2009, they were having to call Labor Ready to find such as Sackintosh. Then, the following year, they begin to re-build, but, look what happened in just seven years, they are back to square one. Ebb and flow of building. Lack of continuity.

        However, after watching how well the Ravens were after bringing a great LT and the Rams were after drafting a great LT. I began to truly believe in the need to build your offensive line first, then, find talent to operate behind it. Too many teams have ruined young promising QBs by trying to insert them behind porous O-lines.

        • ladner morse

          Then again… holding onto guys who aren’t growing doesn’t help either. I think that has been one downfall for Elway in Denver. He doesn’t seem to grasp the OL skills very well or is not able to develop the O-linemen either. It’s hard to think of one good OL over the past 6 years…. someone who grew and developed and stayed there.

          • berttheclock

            I recall a conversation years ago with Donald S’s cousin, micah. I had mentioned the importance of finding a quality LT to begin to build a great O-line prior to bringing in a young stud QB. His reply was that those O-line types were ‘boring”. I asked him if Peyton Manning ever considered his LT to be boring? No reply from micah.

          • ladner morse

            Funny… I seem to remember you asking that question… would Manning consider a LT boring? It’s an excellent point.
            BTW… I don’t think the Bentley offseason workout for OL has always worked, however, I do see the need for a program such as his.

          • berttheclock

            As an UCLA fan, you recall those days of “little but gritty” types Tommy Prothro loved. I am thinking of the year Gary Beban upset USC. However, it was the new regime change involving both King Carl and Vermeil and others who decided USC had the best idea of having studs playing on the O-line. Remember the great days of quality studs such as Anthony Munoz and the pipe line of brothers from USC heading off to the Oilers and others who were very large and very tough on the O-line? UCLA’s fortunes really changed when UCLA adopted those changes.

          • ladner morse

            They have to be light and nimble on their feet. That’s why I was sad to see Rodney Hudson go… especially to the Raiders. He had some of the best feet I have ever seen at the combine for an OL.

          • berttheclock

            Plus, he has had a tendency to bring in FAs who are, either, injury prone or not very good in the first place.

          • ladner morse

            But he is also missing that Andy Reid patience with his O-linemen and finding the right guys to bring in and develop them is just not his cup of tea. He’s more of a “Plug-and-Play” GM type and needs his Free Agents to step up and shine right away… or it’s the Highway.

          • berttheclock

            Look at bringing in the power blocking Louis Vasquez from the Bolts. Really tough his first year, but, he did not fit the Kubiak zone blocking scheme, plus, with some injuries and a high contract, he ended up being cut.

        • I am big time behind building the line first. Both side of the ball this is important. Accounting for longevity of a player being retained and then adding new player is then a constant but you won’t have to start from scratch… or overpay a player either.

    • ladner morse

      Good to chat with you Bert. I have to take off for now. Peace-out!

      • berttheclock

        Until that time, old friend, until that time.

  • Chiefly Bacon

    Great read John. Quality laughs to be had here.

    • Heilios

      Thanks Ransom!

  • Chiefly Bacon

    Random thought. I think the arrival of Akeem Hunt is the beginning of the end for DAT. He went from part of the offense, to STs mostly. He had some value as a guy who played on multiple units, but now that Chiefs aren’t using him for kick returns or punt returns, he’s pretty much just a gunner. If Chiefs have to protect someone on the PS, like Marcus Kemp, for example, DAT could be the first to go.

    • berttheclock

      I don’t believe this will happen. Akeem is able to give DAT a rest, but, as Laddie, so well pointed out recently, DAT is part and parcel of a well crafted plan by Andy Reid to use in the offense, especially, to throw misdirection at defenses. Look no further than Reid adding the fake hand off to DAT in the Kelce play. First, they sent Hill in motion to one side, then, brought him back across the middle. After the snap, Smith faked a hand off to DAT which further froze the defense. That allowed Kelce to be able to get clear into the secondary. The Eagles had practiced against the similar plays done with Kelce in the Pats’ game, but, this added wrinkle really helped.

    • Heilios

      I don’t know about that. He still has value as a speedy slot receiver. Imagine Hill, Conely, DAT, Kelce, Sherman and Hunt. Who would you cover? If you cover kelce and Hill Sherman will pave the way for Hunt, if you choke down on the run Hill will abuse you deep, if you cover deep DAT and Kelce will have a field day underneath on slants and crossing routes

      • Chiefly Bacon

        He has less slot value than Wilson, IMHO. Wilson lacks the ability to track the deep ball, but he’s quick and can break a tackle now and then. DAT is a small guy who doesn’t pile up many yards. Over his career, Wilson has averaged way more YPC than Thomas. DAT is basically good for passes in the flat, jet sweeps and option runs. He’s not a WR, but an undersized RB. Hunt is just as fast, and he’s bigger. I think once Hunt gets the offense down, he’ll be the better option there too.

        • Heilios

          You just proved his value! With Reid’s inexcusable need for calling jet sweeps he is a must have on offense! Lol

          • Chiefly Bacon

            What I’m saying, is that Akeem Hunt can do jet sweeps just as well as Thomas.

          • Heilios

            Akeem. For some reason I keep thinking you were saying Kareem. Their names are too similar! Lol

    • berttheclock

      DAT was in on 4 offensive snaps and 22 STs snaps against the Eagles. Akeem Hunt was in on 13 STs snaps.

      • Chiefly Bacon

        I think you’re going to see DAT lose all his KR duties this next game though. Hunt only returned two kicks, but one went for like 30+ yards and the other he didn’t take out of the end zone, something DAT has yet to figure out is ok. Thomas is a decoy on offense. The idea of him is scarier than his actual performance. One reception for -2 yards and one run for 4 yards are easily replaced.

        • berttheclock

          Why in the world are you trying to give so much credit to Akeem Hunt for his one run back? Have you really checked out his record in the NFL since leaving Purdue? He has been on at least 3 different practice squads and has not been able to stick with any of them prior to coming to the Chiefs. He only played in 7 games in 2015 for the Texans and 8 games in 2016 and was used as a RB with some catches out of the backfield.

          • Chiefly Bacon

            I’ve read this story before. Ron Parker and Terrence Mitchell come to mind. Granted Hunt’s sample size is pretty small, but he just looked so much better than DAT back there. I’m sick and tired of Chiefs starting with the ball on their own 15 yard line because DAT decided to play hero ball, only to get stuffed short again. Chiefs passed up a veteran presence in CJ Spiller to bring Hunt in. That tells me they think pretty highly of the kid. I’ve seen what DAT has to offer, I’m ready to try something else.

          • Chiefly Bacon

            He also spent some time on Houston’s 53 man roster. Played in 15 games, and posted higher career averages than DAT in both yards per reception and yards per rush. DAT has a higher career average on kick return, at 25.3 yards per return, but Hunt isn’t far behind at 23 yards per return, and he did that without the benefit of playing for Toub. This year, thus far, DAT is averaging 22.5 yards per return. Hunt has one attempt this year, it went for 40 yards. DAT’s longest return thus far, is 31 yards.

  • berttheclock

    Tremendously off topic. But, KUDOS to Chris Conley for tweeting a response and joining fellow NFL players in responding to the out of place comments last night in Huntsville, Alabama by the Racist Con Man In Chief’s comments concerning NFL players demonstrating as is their constitutional right to protest. Right on, Mr Conley.

    Geez, I wonder if the three owners who each donated one million apiece to the presidential campaign of the racist will go on record to disagree with him. They are Jerry Jones, Kraft of the Pats and Snyder of the Redskins.

    • Roswell Incident

      I’m proud of that guy; Conley has been reppiing KC well. Seems he has a cool and well adjusted head on his shoulders.