Come one, come all! Welcome to the best thing to happen to your Saturday morning since Bugs Bunny duped Elmer Fudd into thinking it was duck season. How many of you remember sitting down, cereal in hand, and turning on the tube to watch the antics of all of the Looney Toons. After this final game of the Chiefs season I feel a strong connection to Wile E. Coyote. Just like the coyote we are right on the edge, always within reach but the Roadrunner manages to elude us. So like the coyote we turn to the good old ACME salesman, Mr. Reid, to help push us over the top.
With the help of Mr. Reid and ACME we should have no problem catching that darn bird. At first everything ACME is offering in the catalog looks to be the just what the doctor ordered. Shiny new tools that will give a better chance at success. It appears to be a match made in heaven! We were strapped to the ACME rocket blasting from the absolute worst team in the league to the playoffs. Now the rocket falters at the last moment and we fall down into the canyon.
But hey, with the help of good old ACME we were able to rebound from the first pick in the draft to a playoff berth! That is an amazing turn around. For the next 4 years we keep turning to ACME to help us out and just like the coyote we find ourselves in the same situation. We can reach out, come within a finger of reaching the bird, and WHAM! The only thing we managed is to be crushed by a boulder or shot off of a cliff. At some point we need to look to the product we are trying to use to bridge the gap between starvation (I would say 50 years should damn well count as starvation) and a full belly. I believe it was Einstein who once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Now you may say that Wile E. Coyote did in fact catch the Roadrunner. This is true, but I must point out that it took until 1980 for that to happen. To give you some context, the first time Wile turned to ACME Co. to make his dreams a reality was in 1949. That meant that Mr. Coyote with the help of the ACME company endured failure, humiliation, and pain for 31 years. Let that soak in for a moment. Thirty. One. Years. I’m a bit impatient. If Kansas City doesn’t see real results soon I would say perhaps it is time to look to a different supply company.
Okay, okay, enough with the terrible Looney Toons analogy. Here is your Saturday Sum Up!
The Benefits of Bieniemy
The Kansas City Chiefs have named former running back coach Eric Bieniemy to the position of offensive coordinator. With this move the front office will be able to offer a sense of continuity to the offense even with the loss of former coordinator Matt Nagy. I am actually a big fan of this promotion from within for a few different reasons. The main one being that Bieniemy is never one to shy away from confrontation. The biggest obstacle that he will run into as the offensive coordinator is that Andy Reid does not want to give up the play calling duties. This is evident with the former coordinators Doug Pederson and Matt Nagy. Pederson was not afforded full duties of play calling by Reid. Instead a complicated system that included too many people was put into place with Reid holding the actually play call sheet. Nagy fared better than Pederson in this area. He was actually able to wrestle away Andy’s take out menu and called his own plays. Now I know that Nagy has put out a statement that he called the second half of the playoff game but I just don’t believe it. That half stank of Andy’s conservative playcalls. The reason I bring these two up is Eric Bieniemy by all accounts has a different personality than his predecessors. He is short and to the point and has no qualms about saying what he feels. I keep playing a quote of his over and over in my head. “We’re gonna feed your ass.” That is not something that a shy person is going to say. I feel that Bieniemy will take the play calling duties and fight tooth and nail to keep them. Another reason I am actually excited with this promotion is he is an aggressive person. I just feel that he will not let up and turn conservative at halftime. This would be a breath of fresh air for a team that came out of the half flat and with no drive to tack on points.
Snubbed Smith Secures Spot
Ahh. All the words start with the letter S. All is right with the world. Now to the topic at hand. Chiefs QB Alex Smith, a legitimate contender for league MVP was completely overlooked in the first go around of the Pro Bowl nominations. With the best year of his career and the highest passer rating of any quarterback in the league it was a sure bet that Smith would be heading straight to the Pro Bowl, even with the abomination that was the wildcard playoff game. However he was forgotten during the first round of nominations and has now been selected as the replacement for another AFC West quarterback, Phillip Rivers. Who cares you may say? The Pro Bowl is a joke and it doesn’t matter? Granted. There is one thing that the Pro Bowl does influence…. Potential trade partners. Now let me say this now so we are perfectly clear with each other. I DO NOT WANT THE CHIEFS TO TRADE ALEX SMITH. The Denver game proved two things to me. Patrick Mahomes is a special talent and that special talent needs to be developed more before he is thrown into the starting role. Smith is a veteran quarterback who is relatively cheap by NFL standards, with a plethora of knowledge and experience that he can pass on to the next generation. The thing with Alex is, he does get happy feet. He does check it down. Now I will also say that he appeared to come out of his shell at times this year and show off some arm talent I didn’t believe he had. With all of this taken into account the playoff collapse was not the fault of Smith. He was let down by his receivers, his coaches, and the officials. The Pro Bowl nomination will only add to his value if he is in fact traded this year which is a boon for us as fans. A QB needy team, like the Broncos, Browns, or Cardinals would be willing to pay a decent amount for an experienced quarterback who can offer them success. I wouldn’t hold my breath on the Broncos picking him up but the Browns and the Cardinals are both in the running. Also the Browns have a ton of draft picks which they could use to move around and pick up other players. No matter what, it is a win for the Chiefs. Either Smith stays for another year to groom our future franchise quarterback, or we trade him off for picks now to shore up our team. We aren’t in a bad spot.
Th-Th-Th-That’s All Folks! That was your Saturday Sum Up. Comment below and let me know how truly awesome I am and how much my perfectly written masterpieces mean to you. As always VIVA LA JET SWEEP and GO CHIEFS!
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