The Tortoise And The Hare: A Chiefs Tale

Nobody who watched the first quarter would have expected the Chiefs to win this game. The Redskins came out of the gate with fire and passion. Chiefs couldn’t catch a break, let alone a ball. To the casual observer, this game was on it’s way to being a blow-out. Andy Reid, however, knew exactly what was going on. This game was a classic re-telling of the “Tortoise and the Hare,” and he knew where the Chiefs fit in that story, and where it would end.

The Hare rushed out, to a decisive lead,

his defender’s moving at tremendous speed,

but the Tortoise just smiled and said: “Proceed.”

The fans were loud, but feeling the heat,

as the Hare looked like the team to beat,

but the Tortoise just studied his old play sheet.

A gasp of life went through the crowd,

as a Tortoise TD at last made them proud,

But the Tortoise just looked at his sheet, head bowed.

At the miss of a kick, a panic ensued,

while fans said to TV’s, things that are rude,

but the Tortoise, he never altered his mood.

The Hare’s endurance began to fail,

as each Redskin gasped like beached killer whale,

for Tortoise‘s calm would win in this Tale.

The Hare, his injuries began to mount,

from over-exertion, too many to count,

the Tortoise lost some, but not that amount.

At last as the game was nearing the end,

the Hare’s endurance started to mend,

but the Tortoise simply said, don’t break, but bend.

With only a minute left in his quest,

the Tortoise carefully scripted his best,

giving his kicker the ultimate test,

and well, my friends, you know the rest.

A common complaint, about the Chiefs, has been that they are boring. While Chiefs fans would rightly dispute this fact, there is a certain truth to it. Chiefs performances are not up and down. They don’t get really fired up for one game and then yawn their way through the next. They play the same, week in and week out. There is no panic and little excitement. Each moment has a brief celebration, but it’s quickly back to business. I feel like this game was a vindication of Andy Reid’s approach. Redskins played like Connor McGregor, coming furiously out of the gate. Chiefs waited them out and then finished them with the savvy veteran poise of Floyd Mayweather. Here’s hoping they can be more worthy of that comparison soon and their steady approach pays off in a championship. Go Chiefs.

Don’t miss “Another Nail in the Triplet Myth Coffin” at 11:45 AM CDT today.










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Ransom Hawthorne

Ransom Hawthorne

Ransom Hawthorne is an electrician living in central KS. He's married and has two young boys. Born in KS, and raised in Tucson, Ransom spent his middle school years in southern Mexico.
Ransom Hawthorne

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  • Laurels and limitations

    Haha, that was awesome man!! I always find it good to remember that while I mostly look at NFL football with checkers literary knowledge, Reid and the most of the NFL are playing chess from experience.

    • Chiefly Bacon

      Thanks. 🙂 Just kind of decided to do it spur of the moment.

      • Chiefs-Kings-A’s

        It was entertaining CB, good job.

  • freshmeat62

    Good one! I liked that! Nice change of pace!

    • Chiefly Bacon


  • drwillez37

    Never knew the difference between poetry and prose but that was good stuff there!!

    • drwillez37

      I actually just showed my son this story a few days ago…so much to learn from asops fables

  • Chiefs-Kings-A’s

    With a boink off his face mask on his very first play
    Akeem wants a second chance and the coach says no way!
    If that would have cost us the game I’d be sick
    We are very very lucky that wasn’t a pick 6

    • Laurels and limitations

      lol, great rhyme by you, bad bad catching by 31.

    • Chiefly Bacon

      Nice 🙂

  • Frank Rodela

    Great read CB. Completely summed it up with a change of pace. And being a father a 4 with three of them 4 and under, I love the rhyming aspect. Pretty sure this will be the bedtime story tonight.

    • Chiefs-Kings-A’s

      3 of them under 4??
      Wow Frank, where do you find time to rest?

      My daughter drops off her two kids for me to watch and they are both under 3……by the time she picks them up I’m completely frazzled.

      • Frank Rodela

        What is this rest you speak of? lol. We just try to stick to as much of a routine as we can. When we get off the routine even slightly, it makes for a very long day. Jo is 11 and is pretty self reliant, Reese just turned 4 and is a great big brother and big helper, Mikey just turned 2 and is hitting his stride in the Terrible Two department and Liam is 5 months and just had surgery to repair his cleft lip.

        • all i can say is, it goes so fast. Don’t miss it. It’s there, and then they are poof, gone.

      • mnelson52

        Well I stay frazzled. My step daughter got in trouble and we are raising her girls and her son part time because he spends most of his time living with his dad. Now the oldest step daughter has moved back in with us so we have her and her 2 girls. That’s two 2 year old girls, one 3 year old girl, and one 4 year old girl that acts worse than the 2 year old girls. I was 65 Wednesday and I’m not used to this 24/7 stuff. We had to go get our jeep out of the pound yesterday because her daughter got stopped for driving while revoked. Life is good

        Just thought I would make the rest of you feel better about your lives.

  • larry mckinney

    Best ever, Ransom. Your talents spark many arenas. I read it like a rapt child. LOL!!!

    • larry mckinney

      And for another bit of uplifting news, LD-T has a knee sprain. Day-to-Day.

      • it is good news actually. Watching the Pats and Bucs and noting their injury assessments, I think the Chiefs to be very fortunate. Berry is the only main loss of the season. We’ll get LD-T back, Morse will be back soon, luckily Fish was able to play last week so that leaves a question about the guards but we go with the flow. And I don’t think Devey played badly at all once they got rolling. he threw some hellatiously strong blocks in the game when it counted. Even Witzmann showed marked improvement. When all is said and done, Cam Erving is going to get some snaps and that means a very strong finish once all the pieces are back in place.

    • Frank Rodela

      Ransom is easily one of my favorite reads week in and week out.

      • larry mckinney

        Me too, Frank. Still chuckle over his line, “And, the Broncos being the broncos…” from last year.

      • Chiefs-Kings-A’s

        He is no doubt a great writer……for me, I can honestly say I enjoy all the writers at Arrowheadone equally…..I’m just very thankful all of you guys take time out of your busy schedules for us.

  • ladner morse
  • ladner morse

    A great piece Ransom. I love poetry and writing about the Chiefs while crossing over using a well known tale… genius.

  • Good comparison to a nursery story. This season, I don’t think the Chiefs games to be boring at all, even to non-team oriented fans of football(ie, they are not skins or chiefs fans). But yes, the Chiefs can do a pretty unexciting rendition. But when Brady dinks and donks passes that move the chains, do the fans complain? Inquiring minds and so on. What’s the dif?(No Super Bowl appearance I would guess.