Chiefs: Extra and Cringy – In my feeble attempts to identify with the younger Gen-Z generation, this title both captures the essence of my feelings and simultaneously reaches across the decades to convey deep meanings, with connective tissues. Extra means: being unnecessarily dramatic and over the top. Cringy means: bending one’s head and body in fear or apprehension and causing feelings of embarrassment or awkwardness. Blah, blah, blah… oh well, I tried. Give me an E for Effort.
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BTW, I’m so woke now, that I can’t go to sleep at night.
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AFC West Foibles
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The AFC West sure is crazy… at least the teams without an arrowhead on the side of their helmets are. From the looks of things this offseason, the Los Angeles Chargers remain the only possible, outside, threat to the Chiefs five year control of the division, with a possible sixth AFC West title on the way. The Broncos and the Raiders are acting like the Super Bowl was a dress pattern that they should take as a way that dresses their team up which will keep the Chiefs from repeating. The donkeys are stocking up on defensive players in hopes of slowing down the Chiefs offensive juggernaut, just like the Bucs did in SB LV. The Faders are doing something similar, but not really… they just think they are. In the meantime they’ve allowed Pro Bowl Center Rodney Hudson to go to the desert in Phoenix,
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The Chargers have signed TE Jared Cook to replace Hunter Henry. Cook had 504 yards receiving in 2020 and Henry had 613, so this is mostly a wash. Bringing in OC Corey Linsley should help and, like the Chiefs, are in need of a Tackle, but at pick number 13, they should be able to draft a good one. Still, LAC has a new head coach — Brandon Staley — and a new offensive coordinator — Joe Lombardi — so their solid young QB, Justin Herbert, will be learning on the fly, like it’s his first year in the league… all over again.
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The Broncos new GM, George Paton, has focused on signing defensive players in Free Agency: re-signing Safety Justin Simmons, exercising an option to keep Von MIller in Denver, and adding CBs Kyle Fuller and Ronald Darby. As much as Denver may want to stock up on defenders, they still have issues at QB where Drew Lock is a question mark and they’ll have to decide if they’re going to move on — once again — or stick it out one more season, with no hope that next year’s draft, or their draft position, will produce a QB they really want. They could be one team who is motivated moves up in this draft from their #9 spot to get the QB of their dreams.
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The Raiders seem to be floundering. Trading Center Rodney Hudson to the Cardinals was a mystery. They were going to release him but I’m sure when they heard that K.C. was interested they decided to go the trade route so they could at least dictate where he was going, which was out of the AFC. They also re-signed their own LT, Kolton Miller was was a good move but bringing in RB Kenyan Drake when they already had Josh Jacobs is another head scratcher. Does that make them better? Not really. It might only prolong Jacobs career… but that’s it. I’m not so sure it even makes them a better team when Jacobs isn’t on the field so that’s why they are extra and cringy.
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Phun Giraffed Naims
Fun Draft Names
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Here’s the (Ian) Book on the names of players in this draft. First of all, this draft is like religion. We have: a Christian (Brady), a Moses (Dylan), a Noah (Gray) and the Divine (Deablo), including a Sermon (Trey). Also, this draft is in no way prejudice with several colors like: Brown (Spencer, Deonte, Bobby II, Shakur, and Chris) plus a St. Brown (Amon-Ra), as well as a Gray (the aforementioned Noah) and a White (Brady, no not that Brady, but this White is a white guy too). If K.C. drafts RT Spencer Brown, let’s hope they are sure to designate that they want the Spencer Brown from UNI because the Spencer Brown from UAB is a 6-0 RB and other is a 6-9 OT. The Chiefs could still end up with a Schwartz (Anthony) and a Fisher (Paddy) on their 2021 roster.
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There’s also a prospect who is 100% what the Chiefs are looking for because he has built in character: Marlon Character. And food? We’ve got Franks (Feleipe) and Fries (Will), and while some penne is Italian, and some Penei (Sewell) is Hawaiian, it’s food nonetheless.
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If the parent who named their child Kwity Paye… had married the parent who has the last name McKitty, they could have had a child and named them: Kwity McKitty (I know, a long way to go for the pay off, but the wait was worth it, right?). Along those same lines… if Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah has a child who marries Clyde Edwards-Helaire’s child, would their last name be Owusu-Koramoah- Edwards-Helaire… and then if their child marries another hyphenated named person… oh, you get the picture.
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Is there a better name for a DL than “Basham” … I think not. Also, “Jamin” Davis is a great name for a LB. In this draft there’s a Future Amazon Award Winning Employee of the Month: Tyler Shelvin. Jackson Carman is a great baseball name (two first names). I could have sworn I heard my Dermatologist say he’s have to do surgery to remove my Ifeatu Melifonwu.
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Other interesting names in this draft include: Azeez Ojulari. Amen Ogbongbemiga. Just Amen Ogbongbemiga (and don’t ask me for the pronunciation guide). Adetokunbo Ogundeji. Rachad Wildgoose, and of course, Josh Imatorbhebhe.
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The 49ers: Mac & Cheese
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The San Francisco 49ers have themselves a true blue real deal dilemma on their hands. Who do they take at #3 in the draft? Do they take a QB like Mac Jones, who threw for 4,500 yards, 41 TDs and only 4 INTs while completing 77.4% of this passes (an NCAA record) last year… or do they take a mobile QB like either Justin Fields or Trey Lance, who each are excellent prospects but at the same time, if you put a huge afro wig on them, they could pass for Colin Kaepernick? The real problem with the second option of course is that there are plenty of defectors, even in the Bay area, who might not be so happy if things played out that way. Perhaps a more relevant take is: do they want a QB who’s more comfortable frozen in carbonite than Han Solo ever was in the pocket… or someone so mobile HC Kyle Shanahan won’t be able to control his QB on the plays he calls, or that the outcome will even look anything like the original play? (think Patrick Mahomes)
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Sure, I’ve heard it said that Shanahan wants to have that QB who he thinks will get his team over the top if he reaches the Super Bowl again… someone who can also hit that long bomb pass, like the one he called to Emmanuel Sanders late in SB LIV… the one Jimmy Garoppolo missed on by over three yards.
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I’ve been hit with this question repeatedly this offseason: who’s preferrable, the pocket passer or the mobile dude? While the league appears to be going away from the lawn troll in the pocket, the issues that a mobile QB presents are more public than ever following Super Bowl LV. It’s great to hear that Patrick Mahomes is working on being more efficient this offseason. I said many times during the 2020 season: “First downs are like touchdowns.” The idea is, if you don’t get first downs, there will be no touchdowns. That may be an oversimplification but Andy Reid does like to hit as many deep passes in a game as possible, and Mahomes is just the guy to do that. However, if Mahomes and Reid can’t adjust their approach to include enough shorter successful runs and passes underneath, they may end up playing into the hands of any GM or HC who was watching SB LV… and that means all of them.
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The LIFE of Really?
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Only the oldest – ahem (clears throat) the, most experienced, that is — amongst us will recall a TV show from days gone by named: The LIFE of Riley.
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In these times however, there are a multitude of daily happenings that make me go: REALLY? C’MON, REALLY!? One of those things hit me in the face this week and it was the statement by Deshaun Watson’s lawyer who said, Watson may have had a consensual relationship with his massage therapists. Oh geez, it makes me want to go take a shower in bleach just typing that out. I mean: REALLY? C’MON, REALLY!?
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As far as I’m concerned, that’s the very definition of: “Extra & Cringy.”
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Laddie Morse — ArrowheadOne
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