Chiefs: The Camping Checklist

It may be a little late to go over your team checklist once you’ve already started camping… which is exactly what the Kansas City Chiefs have begun doing as of yesterday… but, technically today is when the rookies begin to hit the Missouri Western State University twin practice fields. So, let’s go over the checklist anyway to see if K.C. has the necessary tools for happy camping.

Camp Counselors

This would be the coaching staff. The major change of course is that ex-offensive coordinator, Doug Pederson, is in Philly trying to recreate the Andy magic which doesn’t seem likely to me.

So, the biggest changes for the Chiefs come on offense with Brad Childress and Matt Nagy. I’m hoping Childress has an impact on play calling and play selection while my hope is that Nagy helps Alex Smith directly.

From yesterday’s media events Aaron Murray gives some perspective on the role Nagy will have in the offense. He was asked,

“You have a good coordinator, can you talk about the dynamic changes? Murray then said: Coach Nagy was practicing real hard at being able to get the plays from Coach Reid and then process it based on what hash we’re on and then be able to then give us the full play, to the quarterbacks, so I think they’re excited. We, the quarterbacks, we work extremely close with them, and we’re excited to see what they can do.”

Defensive coordinator Bob Sutton should be on an upward progression with the same system… many of the same players. Adding Andy Reid’s son, Britt to assist with the defensive line should be a plus. Britt is not just a substitute for the real thing. He’s very good at connecting with players as well as being articulate at what he does.

With Dave Toub as special teams coordinator that corner of the Chiefs game appears to be in the best hands ever. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (to quote “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”) but if Toub is around when Andy steps away from the game, I’d like to see Dave get the nod.

Sleeping Bags, Pillows and Air Mattresses

This is your offensive linemen. The team appears to have the necessary protections in place so that their quarterback won’t hit his head on the ground too many times this season. They appear to have enough solid sleeping bags (the two Tackles) and the right pillow for the occasion (the Center), but everyone is waiting to see if the air mattresses (the two Guards) will hold air this time around.

It’s not typical for teams to have their very best Tackle playing on the right side but with the addition of RT Mitchell Schwartz and the slow improvement of LT Eric Fisher, that’s exactly what they’ve got.

Mitch Morse looks like he’ll be one of the better Centers around if he doesn’t have a concussion recurrence.

The Chiefs will have an open competition for the guard positions with a group of players who look like the best group they’ve had since Andy Reid came to K.C.. Keeping the campfire lit will depend largely on this group in 2016.

Life Rafts

The same could be said about this troop of wideouts: they are not only the best collection of WRs since Andy Reid has arrived but likely the best in the past decade. If you’ve been sleeping under a rock of ages for the past four full moons, there’s a ginormous paddling contest going on to be the #2 WR here at Lake Iwannabetheguy. Candidates include: Chris Conley, Rod Streater, Albert Wilson, Demarcus Robinson, Tyreek Hill, De’Anthony Thomas, Mike Williams, Mitch Mathews, Frankie Hammond and Da’Ron Brown. I say it becomes a two man paddle-off between Conley and Streater with Streater starting the year there and Conley pushing more and more for time as the season matriculates (see what I did there?).

Pick, Shovel and Whittling Knife

Speaking of the best collection of players… the running backs for the Chiefs could not only be the best in the NFL but the best in the history of the Kansas City Chiefs organization. Blue Ribbon performers will be Best in Show for the men in red.

Meal Kit

The meal kit is Alex Smith… and whatever person pledges his honor to do his best to do his duty… and then does it. Andy Reid’s offense is based on a quarterback who is a field general and the Chiefs should win their fair share of “Capture the Flag” this year because of Alex Smith. Hopefully he can lead them in “Capture the Trophy” too.

The real meal deal for backup quarterback may be a moot point if starter Alex Smith continues to play the smart game of “Keep Away” from my body game like he has for the past three years.

Matches and Lighters

The defensive line is a forest fire waiting to happen. This bundle of dry kindling will be hard to control this season. These raging blazers are made up of Dontari Poe, back better than ever (he’s had a terrific offseason) and Jaye Howard (his 2015 was as good as Poe’s best year) and Super Man Allen Bailey, who prefers to stop by the canteen to do some weightlifting… instead of munching a Big Hunk candy bar. Newbie Chris Jones should get his shot at using a flint stone during this fire season too. Watch out for him… he can spark.

Frying Pans

The Chiefs outside linebackers can cook. That is… when all the chefs aren’t resting in their tents. There’s a chance that the Chiefs could begin the season with Justin Houston and Dee Ford unavailable. Then, while thinking about laying the whole burden of putting the opposing QB in a pressure cooker with only Tamba Hali doing the cooking… it’s like jumping out of the fire and back into the frying pan. General manager John Dorsey did what he could do to bring in other chefs to heat things up — Dezman Moses, Dadi Nicolas, and Jonathan Massaquoi — but I’m afraid those few may have no cooking oil and flame out early.

Grilling Rack

The inside linebackers appear to be ready to do some grillin’ this year. Not only is Derrick Johnson still steal strong along with 2015 starter Josh Mauga but Ramik Wilson, A.J. Alexander and Justin March could all be pushing Mauga out, to go and grill at some other camp site. A new generation of grill masters could be taking over sooner than you think.

Hot Dog Skewers

The K.C. cornerbacks may have a fine time skewering other teams in 2016. Not only did Marcus Peters tie for the lead league in interceptions but he led the league in passes defensed. His success should prove a worthy example of how to play the position for not only three new rookie corners — KeiVarae Russell, Eric Murray and D.J. White —  but for third year man Phillip Gaines. Peters can hot dog it all he wants as long as he continues to skewer the competition in the process. I do here by nominate Marcus Peters for president of “Skew U”… a school for teaching others how to cook their opponents over easy.

Binoculars

The Safeties are meant to make objects which look far away appear closer then they are… and then go knock the holy shiitake mushroom juice out of them. This may be the weakest group of Safeties the Chiefs have had in the past three years but… we just don’t know that for sure. Behind Eric Berry (who’s presence is unsure in camp) and Ron Parker… the Safety position is without a compass. Camping should help pull this back-pack group together.

Latrine Shovel

The special team unit should continue to dig the offense and defense out of some  $hitty holes they’ve dug for themselves… if they need it. No one doubts the King of Latrine Digging, Dave Toub. It doesn’t seem to matter who head coach Andy Reid assigns to his cabin group… he miraculously keeps turning… shift into shinola.

There’s the Kansas City Chiefs camping checklist. Now… let’s go win Capture the Flag… err… Trophy!

What do you say Chiefs campers? Think the Chiefs need to improve their camping checklist? Or are you good to go?

If you’re good to go, then please join me in a round of “We Are Marching to Pretoria.”

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