Pardon me, we need some real Sports Journalism around here

Pardon me, we need some real

Sports Journalism around here

by David Bell

You see, I had this idea and after the first game I was living the life and it was me on the sideline, camera man behind me taking video and I mic’d up Dee Ford and Breeland Speaks in a candid, askance Frame against other players, coaches and staff flowing in a river toward the locker room. Demetrius Harris walked up just at that moment as well. My Boss, the Chief had told me to get around to everyone and dig deep, as I was leaving the office, and looking at my reflection in the glass surround and stopped to worry the hair again. Domeskellar, oops, Headskellar now, was giggling. He was my cameraman.

I had wanted all my life to work in broadcast journalism. Now I have the chance, see? I am there. It’s true. I am living a dream and it’s what I wanted all my life after I was knocked out of football.

In this series of on the field interviews, the three chatted a moment and then I asked Mr. Harris, how did it feel to make three solid catches. Harris replied, “no one asks me anything except to inquire, no, not that, to dig in and get their shot at me about this drop, or that drop as if it were a leaking faucet that I tried to fix but my fixing didn’t work.”

Speaks jumped in and said, “No man, those three catches show you turned a corner and as if a fairy had tapped you on the head with her wand — or slammed a brick up side of your head, you sudden like, got it and turned the corner.”

Harris look at him and cocked his head to see if Speaks was funnin’ him or speaking seriously.

“See? Just stay focused and that is going to make the Chiefs double TE set tough to defend along with our wideouts….” In this moment he paused,  then continuing, “Me and Ford, we gonna tear up the other side from Houston.”

It was then he started to depart and Ford with him… They chanted, “Rah! Rah! Go Chiefs.”

Harris then said to me, “Thanks for chatting.” I patted him on the shoulder ‘en passant’, and told him “Just make it work, your time to get it on. I supported you as soon as I heard Dorse was bringing you to town and tweeted your wife who was tweeting at the time. I tweeted that your ‘beau’ was going to be the two’s compliment to Kelce! Welcome to the Kingdom? Remember?”

Harris smiled and said, “Nah, I don’t pay attention to that fan S–t” He strolled off and as he did PMII, threw a hard pass over the head of Harris who leaped up and made a one handed grab… the same way he did in Spring Training his first year in camp and he came down, turned to me, cradling the football and hollered to me…”Took me this long to get used to a ball that ain’t round? Oh Ya” mon,” as if he were a reggae dude from the Islands and then he walked on off and into the tunnel with me watching and my ace cameraman, Headskellar, was laughing away as he closed of the the session, and he was sayin’ to me, “That’s kinda kewl bean stuff.”

About then I was bowled over by a tank, no, it was two of them. I hit the turf and looked sorely around for who hit me but it was like lights out though I was conscious.

Headskellar was filming again and I couldn’t focus for a good while but when I did, Reggie Ragland, or was it Buck Buchanan, yes, it was Buck. He was standing there, like a marine DI but he was smiling and laughing to his partner, Anthony Hitchens, or was it Willie Lanier?

They both reached out a hand, and jerked me to my feet and there I was, flying into an upright position, which was fair since I was seeing stars and celestial angels, and such. They had both put me to the ground harder than anything except that 1967 GTO that hit the Bonneville at route 160 and Hwy 43 near the MO/Kan Line on a Saturday nite — that was about 50 years ago, I think. My buddy and I broke the boat at Grand Lake, thought well hell, let’s get to Harrisonville and chase women.

“Ouch”,  I said, and then observed for their benefit. They got me upright probably at the cost of two shoulder surgeries.

I say to them, “Well lookee here, it’s the Chiefs ILB Bob-sy brothers!” So it’s not Buck and Willie, it’s Hitch and Rags. Okay. I am all right.

I asked both: “How’s it feel to be working side by side,” and Hitch replied, “Well sir, it’s like this; when I was about to arrive in KC after getting hired on, Rags called me up and said to me. ‘Hey Hitchenssssss! Ya like BBQ?” He drawled it like he had good southern charm, and laughing I said, “You dambetcha!” Ever since then, on the field and off? We’re like joined up at the hip hop.”

The S-s-s-s-s were sort of said in hushed tones and maybe that’s why he soften his voice to see if he could upset my long time partner, now known as Headskellar. As if Hitchens knew somehow that in a previous life in Houston, he was known as the “Domeskellar”… but this didn’t translate his life from the Astrodome to the new “Stadia” AKA ArrowheadOne. He had advised me and that’s how he got to hold the camera up here in ‘Kansuhcity’, and asked Headskellar: “You ever get paid for all that digging and filming or what?” Skellar shook his head left and right.”

Willie Lanier was then laughing aloud, and I must have been having memory swaps from 1960’s Training Camp at William Jewel College… or was this Wisconsin? Well, that can’t be, as I looked down at the wrinkles on my arm and the sad state of bicep strength.

Huh, then it was Hitchens again and as I recall he was saying something about magic tough pills or something but am completely fuzzy on that. My ears were still ringing and my normal 20/20 vision had not returned (well, maybe it’s 20/50) now, because I could swear it was Willie. He said to me, “Think on it.” We weren’t perfect and we had a lot of young guys on the roster but we took things to finish them no matter what. Calm down and watch things unfold and see if it’s not true. I had to close my eyes and shake my head. Doing that, I felt something rattling around inside my head. I opened my eyes and here I am looking at Reggioh Ragland and Hitchens starting to move down the ramp. It was like that.

And then he was gone.

Ragland followed, and I was asking questions that flew out of my mouth, but maybe they made no sense. With Headskellar working hard to get the audio feed, then them holding the mic and asking me questions, such as,

“Are all pundits as dumb as you?”

“Do you get paid for your work?”

“Is your hair done up right for the camera.”

So it went, as both he and Ragland headed into the runway, Hitchens in the lead… or maybe one of the guys was Willie Lanier. Yeah. I think I got mixed up. Who’s Ragland?

Ragland then replied, “Right behind you Hitch, and hey, let’s hit the locker-room and see what Reid and Sutton have to tell us. Can’t be last in, that’s for important, high intellectual types like them Quarterbacks and ‘Sech.” They cast their glance back at the field and Lenny Dawson was trying to disengage from the reporter throng. I swear that’s what happened boss. I heard it and Headskellar heard it to.

The editor asked me: “Who’s that?”

I swore this was a true story to no avail. It’s sort of like covering sports when you are worried about how your hair looks. Paylor? I won’t forgive you for this.

My editor said: “Lie down on the sofa. I need to make a coupl’a Phone Calls”

He turned away and dropped the F bomb… I am pretty sure.

As my editor dialed the phone, I said: “Chief? I never did know Headskellar’s first name. Maybe all this was out in Nevada.”

My Boss was sayin’ into the phone, to someone or no one: “Car 54, Where Are You?”

Next thing the nurse was saying to me in Texas, “So now you are awake… let me get the vitals. Can you tell me your name.”

David Bell — ArrowheadOne

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