Paul’s Playfully Preposterous, 1,000% Accurate, Prognostications

Paul’s Playfully Preposterous, 1,000% Accurate, Prognostications (by Paul Pulley) – I thought it would be important to have somewhat of a lighthearted article to relax a little bit from attempting to discern off-season acquisitions, the pre-draft ‘scouting’, team needs, draft analysis, off-season workouts, camp followings, pre-season game analysis, and roster predictions. Let’s just step away from the seriousness for a minute.

Head’s up, I couldn’t limit all of my pervasive powers of prognosticating to one, 2019, NFL season.

Immaculate Projection

First off, not only do I think the Kansas City Chiefs will win the Super Bowl this year, I believe that with Patrick Mahomes II, becoming even more comfortable in head coach Andy Reid’s system, along with Travis Kelce still in his prime, plus Tyreek Hill extended and flying around the gridiron, as well as Mecole Hardman, Cody Thompson and the DTrain (Darwin Thompson) in their 2nd and 3rd year of Reid’s offense, the Chiefs will win 3 consecutive Super Bowls.

Super Bowl LIV: The Play

 

With just over 7:00 minutes left in Super Bowl LIV, in a blowout win over the Minnesota Vikings, Sammy Watkins is lined up wide to the right, at the snap Mahomes rolls right and tosses a behind the back pass to Watkins, who is racing left, and takes it 23 yards for the final touchdown of the game. In the meantime, while the commentators are needing help picking their lower jaws up off the floor, the defenders are walking off the field, shaking their heads, trying to figure out what just happened.

Pyramidal Preeminence of Prominence

Or, 3 Seasons of Dominance

I’m predicting a 13-3 regular season record in 2019, with a run through the playoffs giving us a final record of 16-3… but with new defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo’s evolving and improving defense, I believe the Chiefs will have back to back undefeated seasons in 2020 and 2021. Leaving us with an overall three year record of 54-3.

Non-quixotic Quarterback Records

In 2019. Mahomes will set NFL records by throwing for 56 touchdowns and just under 5700 yards. Then in 2020, will shatter those records by tossing 60 TD’s and passing for over 6000 yards.

Mahomes will set a NFL record by passing for 8 touchdowns in a single game. This will happen in Mexico City. In that same game, another record will be set with a pass traveling over 80 yards in the air.

Tight End Records

In 2019, Kelce will once again become the TE leader in single season receiving yards by being the first tight end to go over 1400 yards. In 2020, he will set the record for tight ends with 18 touchdown receptions. 

Chieftains of all Sacks

 Chris Jones and Frank Clark will tie for the team high in sacks, with 17.5 each.

MVPs of INTs: The Pick Machines

It’s going to take Tyrann Mathieu and Juan Thornhill some time to acclimate to their new defense, but in 2020, these two will combine to lead the league in interceptions.

Shoutouts to Shutouts

Week 15 this year, when the Denver Donkeys come to Arrowhead, the defense will completely shut them down for the first regular season shutout since Andy Reid became head coach. It will be the Chiefs first regular season shutout since the Chiefs beat the Carson Palmer led Oakland Raiders at the Coliseum in 2011 and the first shutout at Arrowhead since the Chiefs defeated the Arizona Cardinals 49-0 on December 1st, 2002.

These are my predictions for the times ahead. Whether you agree or not, or whether they happen or not, these are going to be some of the most exciting times ever in the history of the Kingdom.

Paul Pulleyourleg — Arrow-thru-head-One

 

 

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