When Frank Leggio posted his piece called, “The Kansas City Chiefs Top 3 Plays of the Year” he included two plays that stuck out for me: 1) Dontari Poe with the Bloated Tebow and, 2) Eric Berry and the First Ever Pick-2. While watching Eric Berry sprint the length of the football field to score — as he cradled the ball away from his body like he was carrying a cat trying to scratch him — after re-watching is several times, I was hit with the idea that Berry looked like he could play wide receiver… in another life… in an alternative universe. Then, as I watched curiously as Dontari Poe lined up, in the Chiefs backfield twice during the season, once as a running back and once as the quarterback… it begs the question: what other roles, could these Chiefs play?
If you can imagine Dontari Poe as a QB… then you should be able to accept the idea of…
Marcus Peters as a… PUNTER
Justin Houston as a… Tight End
Chris Jones as the… Chiefs Bus Driver (as in, he can drive their bus all the way to the Super Bowl)!
Dontari Poe as a… Scatback
Steven Nelson as a… Fullback for Tyreek Hill, who doesn’t really need a Fullback, because he’s so fast that on kick returns he has to shove his own guys out of the way, guys like Mighty Mouse — as Nelson is often referred to — but should be named “Wily Coyote,” Road Runner’s woebegone buddy… and yes… that makes Tyreek Hill the Road Runner.
Ron Parker as a… Wide receiver
I watched Ron Parker one-hand an interception this year. I think WR is not out of the question in this parallel world.
Jaye Howard and Dee Ford as… Number Crunchers
The number they are crunching here is #7 for the Steelers, Ben “whats-his-name”… just had to find a way to include one of my all-time favorite photos.
Mitchell Schwartz as a… LEFT Tackle
My apologies… but I just had to get in a good jab to the mid-section of the powers-that-be… because the Chiefs offensive line needs addressing this offseason and since they’re likely not going to do anything about the tackles, here’s to hoping that the Guard positions are upgraded!
Travis Kelce as a… you make up the quote…
Tamba Hali as… Alex Smith’s BFF
Dontari Poe as a… FG Kicker
Spencer Ware as a… Math teacher
Eric Fisher as a… Neuro Examiner
Derrick Johnson as a… Running Back
Jaye Howard as… Prima ballerina
Andy Reid as a… Scout for the Chiefs in the Southwest Region
John Dorsey as a… new middle linebacker for the Chiefs
Dorsey kind of has that Jack Lambert Grizzly glare here… someone you would never want to mess with!
Dontari Poe as a… Cornerback.
As you can tell, Dontari Poe can do it all: QB, RB, Scatback, Field Goal Kicker, and CB. I sure hope we don’t have to face him in the AFC West… with him throwing a TD against us. How sick — no, I really mean “sick” sick — would that be!
