Final: Chiefs 19, 49ers 16
They say all things, good or bad, must come to an end. So, it is with our weekly Chiefs Chatter, News, Moves & Stuff That Matters. The Chiefs 2021 season is upon us, albeit preseason. With all our loyal Arrowhead One readers and die-hard Chiefs fans glued to ESPN, NFL Network, and the weekly stomping the Chiefs are going to put on their opponents this season, a weekly recap of the Chiefs ‘matriculations’ is redundant and moot.
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Fret not, however, this isn’t the end of Chiefs Chatter, as It will return next year, probably a few weeks after the Chiefs hoist their third Lombard Trophy and Parade.
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Instead, our esteemed editor-in-chief, Laddie Morse has granted me the great — and dubious — honor of writing a weekly Chiefs Report Card each Friday, which allows me to grade our beloved Red & Gold’s performance in the previous weeks’ matchup. The Chiefs Report Card will be like the now hibernating Chiefs Chatter, News, Moves & Stuff That Matters in that the format will remain similar each week. It will be different, in terms of substance, of course, but it will contain none of the pithy frivolity included in the Chiefs Chatter you’ve come to know and love, Right? Rather, the Chiefs Report Card will focus strictly on Chiefs football. In other words: “Hut, Hut, and nuttin’ but!”
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To be fair, please be gentle, in the first few weeks of Chiefs Report Card. Just as the Chiefs need a preseason to work out the kinks, so does your friendly, neighborhood ArrowheadOne writer. Unlike a certain ex-teacher we all know, I’ve graded nothing in my life, save for a thong contest at a nightclub in my younger wilder days. I can report that I graded wisely, although I had to review the material several times to ensure I was was being fair. After all, I was grading on a curve. Quite a few of them if I recollect correctly.
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Also, please be generous and brutally honest in your comments and criticisms. Let us know what you don’t like, what you do, as well as anything you think needs to be added. It’s still preseason remember, and I still need to make Laddie’s 53-man roster.
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Since we’re still in the preseason, grading will be a little tricky, as there’s a plethora of players to evaluate. So, I’m not going to here. That’s Big Red’s job. I’ll focus mainly on our starters, rather than players on the bubble, many of whom will receive their pink slip prior to the deadline on August 31st. Unless one of them plays or makes a play worthy of mention. Heck, if that happens, I might even call Reid and Veach to put in a good word for them. I’ve got clout at One Arrowhead Drive, don’t ya’ know?
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Offensive Line: A+
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Running Backs: C
To be honest, the Chiefs running backs disappointed me. Despite a plethora of them, they managed less than 100 rushing yards combined. The top performer, ex-49er, Jerick McKinnon, averaged 6.3 yards on three carries for 19 yards. Second-year running back, Clyde Edwards-Helaire, was a close second, averaging 4.0 yards on four carries for 16 yards. One, a really nice rip for 10 yards and a first down to start the Chiefs first drive. There was a game-winning rushing touchdown, but, it didn’t come from this bunch. Not gonna lie, I was a little let down on their performance. Someone needs to remind the fellas of the likes of Jamaal Charles, Christian Okoye, Priest Holmes, and Joe Delaney. Those are big shoes to fill, but someone needs to step up. And soon!
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Wide Receivers/Tight Ends: C
I was excited to get a glimpse of the Chiefs receiving corps, and there were a bunch of ’em, but they were merely pedestrian. Byron Pringle was the lone scorer of the group, despite having only two passes for ten yards. Ex-Colt Daurice Fountain was the star pupil in this class, hauling in four passes for 38 yards.
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I sure hope we see more of them this evening, especially of rookies Noah Grey and Cornell Powell.
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Quarterback(s): A
Patrick Mahomes gets a pass on this one, as he was only there for one series. I think his appearance was only for the benefit of 49ers fans who haven’t seen a real quarterback in the City by the Bay since the days of Joe Montana and Steve Young. I know they think they have their franchise quarterback in Trey Lance. Or as I call him: MVPII-Lite.
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Four different Chiefs quarterbacks combined to complete 26 of 39 passes for 196 yards, 1 INT, 1 TD, plus a rushing touchdown. A game-winning rushing touchdown, I might add. Those ain’t Mahomes numbers, but they ain’t shabby, neither. I’ll take it. Gladly.
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Defensive Line: A-
Let’s see, five sacks, and they held six running backs to a total of a little over 150 yards. They were in the 49er quarterback’s face all day long, minus that fluke 80-yard touchdown that whippersnapper of a quarterback hailing from North Dakota State. I’d say the Chiefs had a mighty fine day. While I’m tempted to give them an A+, I’ll just settle on an A-. That 80-yarder just burns me! No bother, I am stoked about this Chiefs D-Line, and I ain’t alone.
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Linebackers: D
Realistically, this should be a C- or D+, but that 80-yarder still gnaws at me. Also, Willie Gay, Jr. didn’t play, but you now what they say about excuses. Of all the grades on this Chiefs Report Card, this is by far the worse. LB Coach Matt House and his linebacker corps needs to study up and do their homework. Any more subpar grades like this one, and it’s detention.
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Defensive Backs: B+
The Chiefs defensive backs impressed me. They all held their own, limiting the 49ers to just 208 yards in the air, 80 of which were on that fortuitous pass by MVPII-Lite. Armani Watts was clutch, nabbing an INT when the 49ers were driving deep in Chiefs territory. Chiefs defensive leader, Tyrann Mathieu played his role as coach/mentor/cheerleader/motivational speaker to perfection. I love that, dude! He is to our defense what Mahomes is to our offense.
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Speaking of Honey Badger, Mr. Hunt and Mr. Veach:
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Special Teams: A–
Watch out NFL, looks like Special Teams Coach Dave Toub has himself a top ten unit this year. Despite Harrison Butker’s muffed extra point and missed 62-yard field goal (get it together, Butt-kicker), the Chiefs special teams unit looks to be formidable. Tommy Townsend was booming punts all game, and Vikings castoff Mike Hughes was a pleasant surprise on special teams. Call me crazy, but I think he might just have a career in returning punts and kicks.
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Coaching: A
This game meant nothing, but Andy Reid is a football mastermind. He is the Bobby Fischer of NFL coaching. While everyone else is playing checkers, he’s mastering 3-D Chess. No, Big Red, wasn’t out there to win the game, he was evaluating talent. Oh, did I mention he’s, like, a mastermind at that too? There were no new plays. No razzle-dazzle. No tricks up the sleeve. Who cares, the game meant nothing, and the coach saw what he was working with. Whether he’ll be driving a Ferrari this year, or his brother-in-law’s old pickup. He got his answer. VROOM! VROOM!
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Overall Team Grade: A
Although we saw our starters only briefly, I liked what I saw! For a team not caring whether we won our lost a meaningless game, the Chiefs looked sharp. Other than the one lucky pass a rookie quarterback got away with, the Chiefs were clearly the better team on the field. All facets of the offense and defense were hitting on all cylinders, albeit a few hiccups. The last-minute touchdown drive was icing on the cake. A win along with a game-winning drive in the last two minutes of the game deserves an extra full letter in my book. It’s really no surprise. Since we stopped taking the 49ers hand-me-down QBs, K.C. owns San Francisco.
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I know it seems as if I was awfully generous in the grades I gave, but in my defense, preseason is not the time for our starters, or even our second-stringers to shine. Preseason is for the rookies, the UDFA’s, the players picked in the later rounds of the draft, and the guys on the bubble who have to prove their mettle to the Chiefs coaching staff. Or, at least look good enough for other teams to give them a look when Mr. Veach hands them their walking papers. I promise I will be much more strict and discerning once the regular season starts.
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Player of the Game
Our player of the game is 2nd-year punter Tommy Townsend, hands down (pun intended). That coffin-corner punt gave me flashbacks of the only Hall of Fame punter who used to play for that team with the ugly colors. Our young punter gives a whole new meaning to the term boomer.
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Mr. Townsend, if you’re reading this, I see you. Okay, boomer?
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Play of the Game
Hopefully, this will be the only time that the Play of the Game goes to the opposing team, but the 49ers 1st-round draft pick Trey Lance’s 80-yard touchdown pass was impressive. Devon Key got burned in coverage and the rookie QB took full advantage of it. It’s no cause for concern. After all, even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. You have to admit, though, that was a doggone pretty pass.
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“C’mon Man!” Moment of the Game
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Look, I realize for a lot of these guys, a meaningless preseason game is their Super Bowl. However, there’s a fine line between being over zealous and being down-right recklessly stupid. The 49ers wide receiver Trent Taylor nearly decapitated UDFA QB Lance Buechele as he was sliding. This is Taylor’s fourth year in the league and he should know better. No matter, our resilient rookie quarterback just popped back up to drive the Chiefs 68 yards for a game winning drive with just over a minute left in the game. Heck, he even scored the winning touchdown, himself.
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Looking Ahead
The Chiefs head west to take on the Arizona Cardinals at State Farm Stadium just west of Phoenix at 7:00PM CDT this evening. The entire world will tune in, as ESPN is broadcasting the game nationwide. Please join us right here at ArrowheadOne.com and opine on the game on our Open Thread. The thread will be available at 1:00 PM CDT, this afternoon.
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I’ll especially be looking for more playing time for the starters this time. The first quarter at least. I’d like to see them shake of the dust of a little bit to help ready them for the perennially over-hyped Cleveland Browns when they come to town on September 12th. If coach Reid is to be believed, I’ll get my wish,
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“Yeah, so … we’ll go a half, somewhere thereabout with the starters. Then the 2’s and 3’s will get the second half, which is the third and fourth quarter. We’ll just split it up there.”
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Other than the always fun dog-eat-dog tenacity and ferocity of players battling to make the roster, I’m eager to see how my favorite underdog Chiefs, WR Gehrig Dieter and RB Darwin Thompson fare. I’ve rooted for Dieter for four years and Thompson for two… but, c’mon man! –> it’s time to put up our shut up, already! Mere flashes of brilliance does not a Chief make.
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We’ll see you all here this evening on the Open Thread.
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Michael Travis Rose — ArrowheadOne
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