Sister Mary Clarence, The Mighty Ducks, and Taco Bell on Game Day – This is The Chop
Good morning Chief-heads. I hope you’ve dealt with last week well. After all, it really wasn’t that bad. Or at least, it didn’t feel that bad through Thursday afternoon. From Sunday at 3:30 until kickoff Thursday, I was under the impression the Chiefs had been beaten by a pretty decent team; a playoff contender who had filled a few holes from the year before, and maintained a solid defensive core. As well, we were banged up. After all, the Chiefs were missing Jamaal Charles, Justin Houston, and starting Guards Parker Ehinger and Laurent Duvernay-Tardif.
Then, the Texans proceeded to get dismantled by the Patriots. A Patriots team missing first-ballot lock Tom Brady, superhuman TE Rob Gronkowski, and middle linebacker Donte Hightower. The Patriots cut through the Texans defense like a hot knife through butter, and made the Texans offense look pedestrian, at best.
That’s when I started to feel really, really bad about last week.
But alas, a silver lining can always be found, and mine looks a little like this:
- No way Alex Smith plays that bad again, right?
- Maclin can’t possibly drop that many passes in a game for the rest of the year. Just can’t happen.
- Hey, the Run D looked pretty good!
- Tyreek Hill will score a special-teams TD in the next 3 games, guaranteed.
How did you guys feel about last week after watching the game on Thursday? Was it as simple as Thursday games making for awful football, or was it something more? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
This means you, Bert.
Ladies and Gentlemen: The Chop
Random Thoughts #3 and #4
With that thing on his head, DeAndre Hopkins looks an awful lot like Sister Mary Clarence from “Sister Act.”
When you combine our backup Guard’s last names, you get the full name of the enforcer from the Mighty Ducks.
Let’s Play “Andy Reid: Good Idea, Bad Idea”
Good Idea – Running the ball up the middle with Spencer Ware, Charcandrick West, or Knile Davis.
Bad Idea – Running the ball up the middle with Tyreek Hill when you have Spencer Ware, Charcandrick West, and Knile Davis. Seriously, what was that?
Good Idea – Passing the ball.
Bad Idea – Passing the ball at the expense of something that was working really well. You know, handing the ball to Spencer Ware and having him attack defenders as if he was running from a hoard of zombies. And not just slow, “The Walking Dead”-style zombies, but the fast kind like from “World War Z” or “28 Days Later.” Remember when we wondered why Jamaal didn’t get many touches at times, as if Reid forgot he was on the team? Yeah well I now know that Reid wasn’t discriminating against Charles for any reason, he just does this at times. I’m used to it but now I think I understand it more, actually. Andy Reid relies on plays and his playbook more than he will rely on any one player (outside of Smith, of course, who is key to each and every play, seeing that he’s the Quarterback and all).
Good Idea – Committing to the run game.
Bad Idea – Committing to the run game to the point where you run three straight dives and punt on the first drive of the second half after you’ve already played terribly to that point, and you are in desperate need of momentum. Was just not a fan of that tactic. Agree?
Surprise Upset of the Week
I did it guys, I actually called the Rams winning last week! Woohooo!!! You know what that means, don’t you? I’m going to bomb this week. That said, I’ve committed to this, so I have to try, and try I will.
Can I get a drum-roll please?
This week, in an absolute stunner, Marcus Mariota will put up career numbers in passing yards and the Tennessee Titans will roll over the Oakland Raiders at home. That means Mariota has to both hit 372 or more yards passing, AND win the game.
Hey, go big, or go home, am I right?
Sidenote: I know I promised/teased a bit on Pete Prisco, and rest assured, I’m all over that dude, but I had to wait another week. Long story, but you’ll be glad I took the extra time when I blow the lid off the guy…next week.
Over/Under on Total Catches by Marshall and Decker
This is, of course, if Marshall plays. They’ve been keeping a lid on his availability at the time of writing.
I’m pretty sure Brandon Marshall had a 15-catch game against the Chiefs when he was in Denver, but I can’t confirm. Anyone know for sure? Even so, the guy can catch, and so can Decker. I really thought Eric Decker was the product of Peyton Manning and wouldn’t possibly do well in New York, but the guy has actually put together a nice post-Peyton career. If Gaines doesn’t play, we’re most certainly looking at more of what we’ve seen the last two games, and that’s receivers playing really, really, well against our pressure-needy defense. I’m setting catches by these two receivers at 8 a piece for a grand total of 16.
What say you?
Sh*t My Dad Will Say (or said)
Last week I nearly peed my pants at one of the best “isms” to come from my dad in a long, long time. No, it had nothing to do with the media’s J.J. Watt obsession, but it was fantastic.
So I’ll set the scene:
I was starving and picked up some Taco Bell on the way over to my Dad’s before the game. Excited for both the football game, as well as the Nachos Bell Grande I was about to crush, I scurried into my parent’s home, and down the stairs to where the big guy was already pre-gaming. I sat down next to him, slid a TV tray towards me and plopped down onto the couch with my delicious food from Taco Bell.
Dad, looks at my bag of Taco Bell, disgusted, and just says:
“Ugh. I’d rather eat my own sh*t.”
Yeah, he said that, I swear.
You see, Dad loves to exaggerate. He’ll go about as far as possible with an analogy, just to make the strongest point he can (and probably to amuse himself as well).
That’s why I have no doubt in my mind that Pops will drop pure gold on the Jets, and the Amish Rifle, Ryan Fitzpatrick himeslf, and do so relentlessly this week. Ryan Fitzpatrick is good, but he’s not that good. My Dad, however, will notice that he’s a bit more fleet-of-foot than people give him credit for, and with the way we’ve been over-pursuing and arm-tackling, today, Fitz gives Dad fits.
I’m guessing Dad comes up with something completely new and awesome this week that I’ll be sharing on Week 4 of THE CHOP. Can pretty much guarantee it.
Last bit of bad news for me, I have to leave at about 4:45 today to go to my Father in Law’s birthday dinner. So let’s hope we get out to a size-able lead so I’m not sweating over my iPhone screen while everyone else enjoys Hibachi.
Until next week, kids.
-P
And that’s… THE CHOP!
