The Chiefs: If Hollywood Came Calling

The Chiefs: If Hollywood Came Calling – #ChiefsGoneHollywood – you often hear people say, ”If they make a movie about me, I hope I’ll be played by… Robert Redford” or some such equally preposterous star for them to be portrayed as. A month ago, the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease, Dr. Anthony Fauci said he’d want “Brad Pitt to play him.” Well of course. After all, he looks so much like Brad Pitt… (cough, cough, clears throat, nearly chokes)… as it turns out, he got his so-call dream-come-true in short order, as Brad Pitt stepped forward to portray him on Saturday Night Live:

I thought it might be fun to flip the script and imagine, if Hollywood came calling and these Chiefs were asked to star in a remake of a movie, then what famous character might they play? I’ll give you an example: here’s Brett Veach as Michael Corleone, originally played by Al Pacino in the all time movie great, “Godfather LIV.”

Brett Veach

Brett Veach has become a fixture in the Kansas City Chiefs front office and is the youngest ever GM to win a Super Bowl. With Andy Reid in town, he should be here for a very, very long time. Trust in Veach… or he’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.

Tyreek Hill

Tyreek Hill may be the second fastest on the planet, right behind Dash of The Incredibles. So, who better to portray him than the Cheetah. Gee, I can hear The Incredibles Theme song now in the background as Dash… uh, I mean Tyreek… races around.

Steve Spagnuolo

Spags has turned the Chiefs defense around in a hurry and now it Shines! I can almost hear Pharrell Williams singing “Happy”…

Clark Hunt

Clark Hunt was a cute kid. He could have been the little brother of Opie, played by Ron Howard (father of actress Bryce Dallas Howard). I can’t believe I found a shot of him running in almost exactly the same pose as Opie on the Andy Griffith Show, circa 1960. You can almost hear the whistling tune for that show now…

Travis Kelce

Travis Kelce has already had his own show, “Catching Kelce” but it looks like he has his own Ms. M to take care of these days. He’s here, there, and everywhere, in real life which makes him the best choice for the new 007.

Nick Allegretti

I just couldn’t resist this one. Nick Allegretti is The Shrek. No two bones about it.

Tyrann Mathieu

Tyrann Mathieu stops the bullets. Period. That makes him The Matrix. I’m not really a fan to the Matrix theme song but it’s clear Mathieu will do anything Spags wants him to do so, and he exemplifies the tenet, “you get what you give” so… here’s one of my all time favorites:

Dustin Colquitt (a forever Chief)

Now that Dustin Colquitt is gone, the Punting situation could become like a box of chocolates — “you never know what you’re going to get” — but I hope we get someone who can consistently place the ball inside the 20. The theme song to Forrest Gump is so gorgeous, I hope you’ll give it an ear.

Daniel Sorensen, Demarcus Robinson

Robinson and Sorensen would look great together in this buddy flick. That’s reason enough. Dirty Dan and DRob… makes sense. No, I don’t hope they end up wearing a Raiders jersey one day either. I know this is not the “Men in Black” theme song but I like it better.

Frank Clark

If Mathieu has become The Matrix for the Chiefs Defense, then Frank Clark is The Equalizer. No matter how effective an opposing QB has been during the game, once crunch time comes, Clark is the one doing the crunching. Trading for Clark was a significant move last offseason and in honor of his value to the Chiefs I’ll share a cornerstone Blues Song from 1956, a one-chord hypnotic song.

Mark Donovan

Mark Donovan, the President of the Chiefs organization looks so much like the main character of this 1980s space cartoon, I couldn’t stop myslef.

Andy Reid

Big Red offered so many choices but he’d look good in this flick.

Chris Jones

The buck stops with Stone Cold Jones and for the Chiefs, he is SHAFT! Also, if he somehow slips through the Chiefs fingers, we may all be getting the shaft as well. I decided to go with the original theme from “Shaft.”

Clyde Edwards-Helaire

HIdeous, I know. A rookie has got to get teased though, right? Here’s a little number from that movie: “I Want to Kiss You”- by Devin Vasquez

Willie Gay Jr.

As it turns out, Willie Gay doesn’t look anything like Saw Gerrera played by Forest Whitaker in Rogue One but hey, I gave it my best shot. Actually, they do look somewhat alike, it’s just that the character Whitaker is playing here is much older, so the likeness is lost a bit. A little bit.

Patrick Mahomes II

Patrick Mahomes is the best quarterback in the NFL and the youngest QB to ever win the Super Bowl MVP. He is Iron Man. You know, for his smarts too. Instead of the Iron Man Theme soundtrack, I present a better option. From the movie, “The Spy Who Loved Me,” Carly Simon’s “Nobody Does It Better.”

There you have it. My take on… If Hollywood Came Calling. Hope you enjoyed the show. If you have any other suggestions about which players, current or former, would be great in a particular movie, give me a shoutout and I’ll see what I can drum up graphically. Also, this piece will serves as an OPEN THREAD when the league goes LIVE this evening to announce the 2020 schedules for each NFL team, including our: Super Bowl LIV Champions!

Laddie Morse — ArrowheadOne

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