The Kansas City Chiefs: Cartoon Version – After so much success — a 12-and-1 record and a fifth straight AFC West title — the 2020 Kansas City Chiefs have nearly become caricatures of themselves… at least in my mind. Let’s just let them roll.
Editor’s Note: Before reading any further, you may want to get your child or grandchild, and read this article with them. You’ll enjoy it, and so will they! We can all use that kind of connection right now! – Laddie Morse
Clark (Mr. Magoo) Hunt – Mr. Magoo is an elderly, wealthy, gentleman who gets into a series of situations as a result of happy circumstance. Through uncanny streaks of luck, the situations always seem to work itself out for him.
Mark (Bob the Builder) Donavan – Bob and his group help with renovations, construction, and repairs and with other projects as needed. The show emphasises conflict resolution, co-operation, socialisation and learning skills. Bob’s catchphrase is “Can we fix it”? Mark has been the team president for 10 years. He is in charge of the business side, and along with other front office personnel have built the Kansas City Chiefs into a model franchise. I’m confident that we can say: It Has Been Fixed!
Brett (Scrooge McDuck) Veach – Scrooge McDuck is characterized as having worked his way up the financial ladder from humble beginnings. Shrewd at business and a noted tightwad, he’s influential and the most successful businessduck in the world. Both as a businessduck and as a treasure hunter, Scrooge McDuck is noted for his drive to set new goals and face new challenges. We expect Brett to find new treasures every offseason.
Andy (J. Wellington Wimpy) Reid – Wimpy is a close friend of Popeye’s. He is a soft-spoken romantic, intelligent and educated, a bit timid, and a cheeseburger moocher. Reid is more creative than Wimpy, but by no means more of a cheeseburger freak, aficionado and worshiper.
Offensive Players
Patrick (Bugs Bunny) Mahomes – Bugs Bunny is one of the all-time most favorite cartoon characters. Easily recognized as one of the Greatest Of All Time, he is the face of Looney Toons. He is characterized as being clever and capable of outsmarting almost anyone who antagonizes him. He nearly always defeats all villains.
He Just Scored Another Touchdown
Offensive (Pigs) Lineman – Porky, Wilbur, Babe, Napoleon, and Pumbaa. I’m using them because they are big, burly, hard to move, and love to root in the dirt.
Clyde (Jerry) Edwards-Helaire – This wily and resilient mouse is adept at outsmarting his nemesis (NFL defensive players). He is quick, evasive, elusive, possibly the best spin move in the league, strong at the point of impact, and just when you think he is corralled… he’ll leave you grabbing for air.
Le’Veon (Red the Angry Bird) Bell – Red has been angry pretty much his entire life, and that’s made the cranky curmudgeon an outsider in his own community. Taking too long to cross a street, or getting sent to anger-management class: “The heart and soul of Red is the fact that he says and does the things that we only wish we could do.”
Anthony (Tasmanian Devil) Sherman – Tasmanian Devil is a character that you don’t want to come face to face with. He is ferocious and a terror to deal with. While “The Sausage” is not as quick or fast as Taz is, on the football field, most opponents do fear his tenacity.
Travis (Foghorn Leghorn) Kelce – Foghorn Leghorn is depicted as easily the tallest of all the Regulars at Looney Tunes. He has a bombastic and outgoing personality, added to which he shows a penchant for mischief. His first name “Foghorn” is indicative of his boisterous personality, while his surname “Leghorn” refers to a particular breed of chicken. Foghorn is… well… Foghorn! And Kelce is… well… Kelce!
Tyreek (Sonic) Hill – Sonic is technically the fastest character because in his world, there is no speed force. Sonic the HedgeHodge is a cartoon character in a Sega video game. His speed has been registered anywhere from 765 miles an hour to 3,840 miles per hour… and as we all well know, Tyreek is the fastest in his world as well.
That’s What Speed Do
Mecole (Roadrunner) Hardman – Roadrunner’s nemesis, Wile E. Coyote, could never catch him, even when using Acme rocket devices. No one in the NFL has yet caught Mecole from behind.
Sammy (Speedy Gonzales) Watkins – My research ranked Speedy as the third fastest behind the previous two already used. Speedy Gonzales was fast enough to travel a 30 meter run in about 3 seconds. That’s 22.3694 MPH.
Demarcus (Tails the Fox) Robinson – Tails the Fox a lesser known character from the Sega video game Sonic starred in. Foxes are quickly fast, cunning, sneaky, and smart.
Defensive Players
Frank (Don Lino) Clark – Don Lino is the main antagonist of DreamWorks full-length animated feature film Shark Tale. He is the pompous leader of the Great White sharks. The bigger sharks are powerful, but yet have the ability to produce speed bursts. When they smell blood in the water, it sends them into a feeding frenzy.
Chris (Jabberjaw) Jones – A Jabberjaw is someone who never shuts up. A person who talks too much, to the point of ad nauseum. It is also a 30 minute cartoon created in the 1970s by Hanna Barbera, and it aired on Saturday morning cartoons. Jabberjaw, is an air-breathing, anthropomorphic great white shark. Jabberjaw found it hard to get respect in a society where “shark ejectors” (robots that would guard various buildings or cities against sharks being allowed to enter) were commonplace. His Chiefs teammates: “You are such a jabberjaw, I can’t hardly get a word in edgewise.” The Chiefs opponents: “Hey Jabberjaw. Shut up! I’m trying to block you.”
Tershawn (Snap) Wharton, Tanoh (Crackle) Kpassagnon, Mike (Pop) Danna – The Kelloggs characters have been convincing us for years that Rice Krispies are very good… and look at the fabulous desserts we’ve gotten. A tackle for a loss, or a quarterback hurry, is a defensive dessert for sure. Just give the three of them milk for pregame warm-ups, then watch opponents offense: snap, crackle, and pop!
Mike (Spike) Pennel – Spike the Bulldog is an animated cartoon character in the Warner Bros. Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies series of cartoons. Spike is a burly, gray bulldog who at times wears, a red sweater, a brown bowler hat, and a perpetual scowl. He becomes ferocious very easily.
Derrick (Bluto) Nnadi – Bluto is a cruel, bearded, muscular bully who serves as Popeye’s nemesis and arch-rival for the love of Olive Oyl. His voice is very loud, harsh and deep, with an incomprehensible bear-like growl between words and sentences. It takes Popeye eating spinach to be able to defeat Bluto.
Alex (Simba) Okafor – In the movie Lion King, Simba is depicted as a lead character, who typically is the hero which is the weak link being both blandly designed and under performed. Essentially he is blamed by critics for being a leader verbally, but not physically. As Simba has aged, he is no longer overly adventurous and outgoing, instead has become humble and rather soft-spoken. Simba also became fearful and overprotective, as he feared the dangers that could happen.
LBs Anthony (Leonardo) Hitchens, Damien (Raphael) Wilson,
Ben (Donatello) Niemann, & Willie (Michelangelo) Gay
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are four fictional teenage superhero anthropomorphic mutant turtles. They were trained by their anthropomorphic rat sensei in the Japanese martial art of ninjutsu. From their home in the sewers of New York City, they battle petty criminals, evil overlords, mutated creatures, and alien invaders while attempting to remain hidden from society. Leonardo is the tactical, level-headed, quiet, courageous leader and devoted student of his sensei. Raphael is the team’s antihero, he has an aggressive nature, and seldom hesitates to throw the first punch. Donatello is a scientist, inventor, engineer, and technological genius. Michelangelo is the most stereotypical teenager of the team, and is a free-spirited, relaxed, goofy, mischievous, jokester known for his love of pizza and kind-hearted nature.
Charvarius (Mickey Mouse) Ward – The essence of Mickey’s character is based around the underdog archetype, most prominently illustrated by his diminutive stature. He relies on his quick-wit and athleticism to overcome adversity. A lovable rogue, bodacious and headstrong, he’s also mischievous. With a loving personality in his imaginative cartoons, Mickey rose to the top of American culture, becoming one of the most popular and beloved personalities in the universe of cartoon characters.
L’Jarius (Woody Woodpecker) Sneed – Woody Woodpecker comes off more clever than intelligent and often won because his opponents were slower than he was or less persistent. Plus, his attitude never allowed him to admit defeat. In his early years it was Woody who instigated the problem and then aggravated the situation. There was never any shyness or hesitancy about this Woodpecker. He knew what he wanted so nothing, and no one, prevented him from trying to get it.
Bashaud (Top Cat) Breeland – Top Cat often rips off and/or tricks minor characters, Officer Dibble, and even his own gang. He does respect the effort the gang does for him, but he often takes credit for it and he’s very wise. That said, he is loyal to the gang and will help one of them if they need it. He also stops Officer Dibble from arresting him by lying to Dibble about how much talent Dibble has. He also tells his gang that, they only steal from people who deserve it. Interceptions.
Rashad (Spook) Fenton – Spook is a cohort of Top Cat, he is one of the most streetwise members of the gang. He is a sweet-talking cat whose vernacular is based on that of a beatnik, interjecting the word “like” into his sentences, with “like” regularity. He appears to be more fun-loving than kind-hearted, but when the gang need some help, he steps up.
Tyrann (Honey Badger) Mathieu – Amongst the most interesting of all Honey Badger facts is their reputation for being ferocious and defensive, with most adversaries tending to actively steer clear of them. Even large ones avoid them if they can. The safest thing to do when you encounter a Honey Badger is to stay calm, don’t provoke the animal and if you get a chance to escape from the Honey Badger run fast and hide somewhere. Does that remind you of anyone?
Chiefs Honey Badger Plays Everywhere
Daniel (SpongeBob) Sorenson – SpongeBob SquarePants is an energetic and optimistic sea sponge who lives in a submerged pineapple. SpongeBob has a childlike enthusiasm for life, but constantly gets into trouble.
Another Big Time Play
Juan (Paw Patrol) Thornhill – His primary purpose is to check for fires and extinguish them if necessary. In the movie, he is brave, confident, strong, feisty, sassy, smart, and loyal. His loyalty and braveness is also shown in the series. He is very friendly as well, has a big heart and is determined to never let his friends down.
Harrison (Charlie Brown) Butker and Tommy (Lucy van Pelt) Townsend – Anytime you’re criticizing their kicks and holds, stop and think about this pair. Let’s appreciate the quality that we have. They are more than 90% (so top 5 as a pair) better than the rest of the league.
We Are Good Here
Finalization
As I selected these characters I tried to pick all good cartoons, while avoiding the bad ones. I hoped to choose all winners, less losers. If the players themselves see this article, please harbor no ill feelings… as I truly don’t deeply know your true characteristics… I’m just attempting an offbeat way to have fun with the roster.
Las Vegas Raiders Coach — Jon Gruden — When the Chiefs Win
Alan Haupt — ArrowheadOne
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