Protests, Flags and Football: My 9/11 Story

Fifteen years ago on September 11, 2001 it was a Tuesday. That doesn’t really matter, other than to give reference to the day, and I remember it was a Tuesday. I was a law enforcement patrolman at Andrews AFB, Maryland which is about 12 miles from the Pentagon across the river in Crystal City, Virginia. As such, I worked shift work, and didn’t have weekends off.

Beyond it being a Tuesday, I remember the day like it was yesterday. I now know the feeling my parents had when I would ask them, “Where were you when you found out President John F. Kennedy died?” I know exactly what was going on.

I was up with my two young children who were four and two at the time. I worked the swing shift, and didn’t head into work until about one o’clock in the afternoon. It was about eight-thirty in the morning east coast time. The kids were watching cartoons on the Disney channel, which is why I didn’t immediately get the news. Their laughing and singing along with “Bear in the Big Blue House” was interrupted by the ringing of my land line.

When I looked at the “caller ID” box I saw it was my grandmother who lived in Montana. I immediately thought the worst, thinking something had happened to someone in my family. Why else would she be calling me so early on a Tuesday morning? After all, it was just after six a.m. in the Mountain Time Zone. With an already shaking hand, I picked up the phone.

Before I could even say “hello” she was already in hysterics.

“Are you okay? Are you guys okay?” she practically screamed into the phone.

It took me a minute to comprehend what she was saying. When I finally figured out she was talking to me, I stammered out a, “Yes, grandma. We’re fine. What’s wrong?”

“Aren’t you watching the news?” she asked, unbelieving that I hadn’t seen what was going on.

“No, the kids are watching cartoons,” I replied as I grabbed the remote and switched the channel, much to my kids’ chagrin.

I was just in time to see the second plane slam into the World Trade Center. Goose bumps covered my skin and tears welled up in my eyes. I had been in the United States Air Force for five and a half years at that point, and I had seen enough to know nothing in our world would ever be the same. We were at war. There was no doubt about what I was seeing.

“Those sons of bitches just bombed the Pentagon!” my grandma screamed into the phone.

“Grandma,” I replied. “We’re fine. I’ve got to go now.”

I quickly hung up the phone. My kids didn’t really understand what was going on. How do you explain that kind of evil to a four and two-year old? I was pulling on my uniform as quickly as I could, as I headed out the door.

I spent the rest of that day… fifteen years ago… sitting at a military checkpoint on the east side of the Andrews flight line. I spent every day after that, patrolling the base, ensuring there were no follow-up attacks.

I was right about one thing. Nothing was ever the same. Since that time, I deployed to Oman, Djibouti, Yemen, Iraq and Afghanistan. I’ve seen death and destruction first hand. I have personally been shot at with rockets and by snipers. I would say I’ve served my country and fought for the rights of everyone in it.

So, I can also say when all of this media attention was given to San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick regarding his refusal to stand for our national anthem because the flag it represents doesn’t stand for everyone, I was upset.

I mean, how dare he? Right?

But here’s the deal. After the initial anger of what he did wore off, and I realized why he did it, I wasn’t as angry. I might be in the minority here, but I served and fought “to protect and defend the constitution of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic.” At least, those are the words in the oath I took on April 3, 1996 and every time I’ve recited it over the past 20 years. So did I not dedicate the last 20 years, five months and eight days of my life to that oath? Did I not do it to guarantee everyone the protection from persecution for exercising their rights?

Kaepernick and all the others who have chosen to engage in this silent protest are exercising their First Amendment rights of peaceful assembly and freedom of speech. What are they hurting? Is what they are doing any different than what other peaceful protesters have done over the years?

Don’t misunderstand me here. Do I agree with it? Absolutely not. It angers and frustrates me when people don’t stand up for the Star Spangled Banner and our flag. I know exactly what has been sacrificed for that flag. I’ve seen that sacrifice first hand. I have carried the bodies of the dead–coffins draped in the flag that this song represents–onto airplanes set to take them to their final resting place. These are the sons and daughters, mothers and fathers of this nation’s people. They sacrificed, and embody what the flag and the national anthem represent. But it’s not really for me–or others who came before me–to provide and secure these rights for everyone and then dictate the manner in which they can use their rights, is it?

Do I agree with Kaepernick’s cause? No, not really. I think the 49ers’ backup QB is hanging his hat on the wrong hook. Is there racism in this country? Absolutely. There are over 300 million people in the United States. Some people don’t like others because of the color of their skin, and that’s not okay. In fact, it’s deplorable. But to say that there is rampant racism in our entire justice system is misguided. To insinuate that police officers are rogue and randomly gunning down minorities in the street is dangerous. But to then cite cases like the incident in Ferguson, MO and others where the facts proved that the perpetrator who was killed by police was done so in self defense by the police officer is explosive.

However, to that statement I will add the following caveat: I didn’t grow up in the inner city. I didn’t grow up black. I wasn’t raised in a part of town where drug dealers were rampant. I surely didn’t grow up looking over my shoulder for bad people who could be doing bad things in my neighborhood or having to worry about the police who had to deal with all the crap in that neighborhood and just saw me as another “hood rat.”

I grew up white, lower middle-class and in Great Falls, Montana. So to say I understand the struggle some of these athletes faced in their youth—like the Chiefs’ own Marcus Peters who grew up in Oakland or De’ Anthony Thomas who grew up in Crenshaw, Los Angeles—would be completely false. These guys have seen the worst of the worst society has to offer, both within their own ethnic groups and out. They saw it, lived it, faced it and in most cases, escaped it.

If there is one thing this protest—despite how Kaepernick went about doing it—did well, is it has brought light to the issue. And to me, the fact that Kaepernick and others have pledged to donate time and money to these communities says it’s not just a play for attention.

So at the end of the day, I—along with my brothers and sisters in arms since the inception of this country—have given Kaepernick and the rest of the athletes in the National Football League the right to protest peacefully. I don’t believe he is disrespecting our country, military or flag by doing it. In fact, he is showing exactly how free he is, which is the ultimate “thank you,” if you ask me.

Today, the football season kicks off. Fifteen years ago, football was the absolute last thing on my mind. So whether you stand or sit today when the national anthem is played, I ask you think about every member of the armed forces who provide the blanket of freedom and security you sleep under each night. I ask that you reflect on the fact that despite its problems, this is STILL the greatest country in the world. I ask that you think about these things and remember them as we enjoy this Sunday, and every Sunday moving forward.

For the record, I’ll be standing, with my hand over my heart, proud of the country I live in…

…in the land of the free, and the home of the CHIEFS!

Editor’s Note: I want to thank Jason Seibel for giving voice to an issue which is front and center in our country! Jason has served and laid his life on the line, which is beyond courageous. Here, and now, as he gives voice to this issue… is willing to begin a conversation… and is laying his beliefs about our freedom on the line. Another kind of courageous altogether. Thank you for this as well! -Laddie Morse